Thank u Ilene. I needed this today. I'm having a rough moment. A true set back. All of the abuse I endured has really had an effect/ affect on me. I didn't realize this would happen.

I dont even know myself, the real me.

So I have gotten over him but now this.

I will write out what happened and why it hit me like this, in s separate post.

butterly, dear. I'm facing the same thing, a true loss of myself. The abuse is so terrible and such a mind-bending, distorting thing. Like you, I felt baffled by ilene's questions -- wonderful questions, but things I no longer have any idea about.

Recovery from abuse seems so impossible for me.I am still in my situation and have decided that I just must live with it. I feel lost and broken.

We may be broken
but we can be healed.

What heals you?

What nurtures you?

What nourshes you?

What fuels you?

What lights you?

What heals you?

Thanks for those great questions, Ilene. I am personally still searching for the answer to most of them. But when I was at the end with my exH, I would never even have dared to ask them. And certainly wouldn't have known the answer. Food for thought...

thought provoking and encouraging. Thanks Ilene, I will copy those down and try to find my own answers!

i do not know myself anymore. i'm worn out. totally. :(

I love the ocean, and warm sandy beaches. I love to pray for other people. And if I can not do any good, at least not do any harm.

I love this!

I've been asking myself these same questions--trying to work on myself.

I used to define myself by his standards--and try to live up to his expectations, follow his "values."

But now I've found that I've been lost and so dis-empowered. The only thing that seems to bring power back is to ask these very same questions and to answer them!

That's such a big step for healing!

It's like building my own inner-compass again...and embarking on my own journey to where I want to be.

It's awesome.

What. . . . .

What describes you? EMPATHIC

What defines you? BEING A MOTHER

What encourages you? MY DAUGHTER

What enriches you? MY FAMILY

What excites you? MY INNER CHILD COMING OUT TO PLAY

What energizes you? A GOOD NITES SLEEP LOL

What enlivens you? BEING AROUND THOSE FRIENDS WHO TRUELY CARE

What launches you? KNOWING I CAN SHAPE MY FUTURE MYSELF

What lifts you? HAVING MY OWN SPACE

What inspires you? MUSIC AND LAUGHTER

What transforms you LIFES LESSONS

What heals you? HONESTY TOWARDS MYSELF

What nurtures you? MY MOTHER AND HER SUPPORT

What nourshes you? MY FAMILY

What fuels you? MY EQUALITY

What lights you? KNOWING HOW TO SMILE AND REALLY MEAN IT

What heals you? TIME !!!

I DIDNT KNOW IF I SHOULD ANSWER ON THIS POST BUT I THOUGHT WHY NOT, BOY THAT FELT GOOD, THANKS FOR THIS POST

I'm glad you answered.

Thanks for answering.

:) I'm glad u answered too.

What describes you? Empathetic, sympathetic, caring and loving.

What defines you? My daughter

What encourages you? Right now, DS and everyone offering advice here.

What enriches you? I think my son who's doing so well with his studies even after having a complete breakdown in his senior year at highschool.

What excites you? Spending time with friends who really care about me, spending time with my children and taking photographs of whatever suits my fancy.

What energizes you? Sleep, but also a good, long walk...I always feel full of energy when I return from a walk!!

What enlivens you? Music, I love listening to music.

What launches you? At this point in time I don't really have an answer for this one.

What lifts you? Being away from my h.

What inspires you? a good movie, some good music and time spent with family, and loved ones.

What transforms you? Not sure about this ones answer yet either...

Thanks for posting these, it's helped me to see exactly how far I've come, to realize that I'm slowly discovering who I really am and that not all is lost, because that person has always been inside of me, just in hiding from everything that he has thrown at me...

I think I'm going to make a point of answering these questions on a weekly basis....I'm determined to become my 'old self' again!!! I used to like who I was before I met my h. :))

Ilene,

Hope you do not mind me popping in to answer these fabulous questions. The answer to them all for me is..................

What. . . . .

What describes you?

What defines you?

What encourages you?

What enriches you?

What excites you?

What energizes you?

What enlivens you?

What launches you?

What lifts you?

What inspires you?

What transforms you?

To finally understand what being a flower on the stem of the universe really is.....

Love you so much!

Tame. . . . . .

you just made me cry.

Thank you.