My boyfriend sometimes becomes emotionally and physically abusive. He spits in my face. Calls me fat and stupid. He has acually tried to kill me a couple times. Its very scary but he always changes back into that guy i love. I cant explain the hurt i go threw when this happens.

Well, at night, I make sure the windows are closed and locked, the blinds are closed, and I lock the doors. I also have a lock on the bedroom door. I don't often use it, but if I am feeling on edge, which happens from time to time, I lock it. I also have a phone in the bedroom in case of an emergency. I read every night before I go to sleep, even if it is only for 10 minutes or so. It gets my mind off of day-to-day stressors and other concerns.

I don't know your views on guns for personal security but you could go take the class and get your CWP (concealed weapons permit) and you could own a firearm and carry it. I have sleeping problems too so I feel your pain hon. I think anyone on here after midnight, like now, has sleeping issues. :( Can you move your bed into a corner where you have your headboard and one side to a wall? That's helped me alot with feeling more secure while I rest.

Oh I feel for you! I know where you are. And it is hard to hear that another has this problem too. My ex would not let me sleep unless he was asleep already and if he woke in the night he would yell and scream at me and startle me out of a sound sleep. I got used to having only about 3 hours of sleep a night. And I still do. I mean I was an insomniac to begin with but not nearly as severe as I am now. My therapist put me on an anxiety pill that makes me sleepy. NOw it does not work all the time and I (with my therapists approval) take nyquil with it also. But of course he said tht if I have to continue taking the nyquil with the anxiety pill he will have to seek other alternatives. And honestly I feel I will be going down that road soon. But at the same time I am also ADHD and my mind races when I lay down. So what I would do to start is talking to your or a if you are not seeing one at the moment) and try taking an anxiety med because it is anxiety that keeps you awake because of your fears at night.

at the very end my ex was the worst, I would not go to sleep until the sun would come up and after I got my kids up to school.. that's when it was safe again because the abusive was mostly at nite... he was diagosed with schizoaffective the day after I left... so
thanks for letting me know that I am not the only one who has this problem...

Get a gun permit and learn how to use the gun properly. If you don't have an alarm system, check into it. I know they aren't cheap but your safty is worth. You may want to check into an Order of Protection (but be careful because you'd have to go to court and he could find out where you live at that point). you may also want to call your local law enforcement. i have found that if they are aware of the situation, and that you are in fact trying to stay away from him, they are much more likely to help-they don't like helping a victim only for them to go running back to the abuser. trust me Iknow how hard it is to keep from looking over your shoulder and I don't even remember what sleep is. I have gone and stayed with friends and even out og state to visit family and everyone says "oh, you can get a good night's sleep now, you're safe" Well as much as i love them all-they were wrong, when I do fall asleep, I just have nightmares. Just be careful and hopefully with time, he'll move on and you can just pray for the new girl's safety.