Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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6 weeks

LivD
LivD

Tomorrow marks six weeks since I cut off all contact with my ex-boyfriend/abuser. Every day I have to fight the urge not to call him and scream at him. I want him to know how badly he ruined me, supposedly the girl he loved more than he'd ever loved anyone. I want to tell him that every time he dates a new girl I will warn her about what happened between us.. the spankings he used to punish me for embarrassing him or disrespecting him, the hair pulling and arm restraining he used to keep me from moving away from him, the tearing off of my clothes when I didn't want to be naked around him. I want him to know that he is an abusive man and that he can't hurt me anymore so he should stop trying to contact me. He should stop venmoing me money in exchange for calls I'll never make and texting me and emailing me. 


But as much I want him to stop, it hurts sometimes when I don't hear from him. Which is twisted and I wish I didn't feel that way. And it also sucks feeling like I want to reach out again just in order to lash out and get the final word, and maybe some closure, even though I know it will make the abusive cycle start all over again.


Ugh.. any advice?

cbgrace1980
cbgrace1980
I am so sorry you had to experience that. That behavior towards you is not okay. I'm glad you know that. Good for you for standing up for yourself! My father was abusive to my mother and she NEVER left him. She died still having never experienced freedom from him. Your abuser put you in a pattern of where any contact with him, whether it be good or bad, was normal, that's why you can catch yourself even wanting to lash out at him to get the final word. But I think silence is stronger than lashing out. My ex husband became abusive towards me and my counselor told me that the worst thing you can do to someone who wants attention that badly is to ignore them. Eventually he left me alone. But it was very hard to ignore him. I wanted to text him and let him know how horrible he was but even when I tried doing that, everything was always my fault.
Keep standing strong and know that you are not ever alone. If you don't have a trustworthy counselor, maybe you could find one who will keep you strong and give you a support system. Please keep up the good work!