95% is great.I hope you get feeling better hun.Im here if you need to talk, vent , or what ever.

let me guess its a highly religious community. I live across the lake from you and I know how it is to have to live up to everybody else.

I see what you wrote as helpful to me because my parents, too, seem to be critical, and I see I have internalized that I'm not good enough often, and remember that is not true when I read what you wrote, that their behavior has nothing to do with you. I try not to take my parents personally, and validate myself and receive validation from friends.

that is a big, huge, think they are like God community..sorry if i offend any mormons, been there done that got smart moved on. i was married the first time in their temple and suffered the emotional abuse throughout a 20 year marriage because "families had to stay together at all costs" it was when i could prove to the church that he had 7 women on the side (just having affairs with, not pologmist) that they understood... and again as they put it families stay together,as something that they believe in... after we split up i was then told that i couldn't afford my children and to send them to other family members..yup, families are eternal and should stay together...sorry rambling on about the church but wanted you to see what they believe in and how it destroyed my children. enough of that.
the only true friends that i have are here. i go to school and there is one lady that i spend time talking to. i called my real dad and told him that even though we are apart, no one can take a phone away from us. i told him that i loved him and heard him break down and cry. (that is another long story of finding love) but other than that i really don't have anyone.. i just have to thank God that i am here with you...thanks again for the support. it is more than i ever thought i would have..validation....a good thing... jaime

My dad was the same way. I used to bring home A's, and he would get upset if I had an A-! As you get older, you have to learn to let it go. I lived with my parents when I was an adult, and my dad started his same old crap. It still upset me a little, but not nearly as much as when I was a child. Good luck!Don't let anyone try to define how great you truly are!

Validation is not only a good thing - it is essential. I think it is wonderful that you connect with your real dad - obvoiusly it means a lot to the both of you. I'm sorry about how you have been treated - it is unkind and damaging. Letting go is so wise - for a long time I had the fantasy that my mother would some day love me. Her attitude just kept hurting so I finally let her go completely and have not talked to her in 24 years and that saved my sanity. I finally realized that she was not going to change when I let her go. I hope you can do that with your parents.

thanks for all of the support..remember how i have a friend at school...she died the other day and now all i have is all of you. it sounds funny but i have basically used my home to hide from the world. at least school is going good.. my algebra teacher told me that she can jump me over a level of algebraa..then she grinned really big and said TWO...just think of how much it will irritate my family that i am achieving and not a failure... so i am again on a high today...love those days. thanks for listening to my issues it is good to be validated,,and even more it is better to have you as friends...

I'm so sorry you went through that. But please remember. It is not the church who is at fault. It was the members. I'm LDS and from an abusive family also. Once you find good members your life could change, just as mine did.

We all want and need to be accepted and loved. We all look for approval from family members. When they don't give it, we get hurt. I don't know how to tell you to let it go, I only know if you do, you're life will be better.The day I stopped asking for their approval was the day I started to get along with them.