Well, in typical fashion, my husband is asking for another chance, is going to go for therapy blah, blah, blah. I always told myself that if he was willing to go to therapy to better himself (and our marriage) I would give him that chance. I tell myself this knowing it is very likely that it won't change a thing (my therapist thinks this as well) as abusers rarely change. However, I feel I have to give him a chance. I am out of the house, on my own and in control of my own life and will stay that way until I see significant changes and over a long period of time (if I ever see them at all). My question??? To those of you whose spouses are attending therapy, did you discuss with them what issues you thought they had that needed to be addressed before hand i.e. emotionally abusive, control issues, mommy issues, narc etc? I ask this because we all know they don't see these traits in themselves and I know he doesn't know where to start with his therapist and he is asking me what I think the issues are. What should I tell him? I believe in the current state he is in, he will listen all though may not believe everything I could tell him. Anything I tell him would be in a gentle, non accusatory manner as I don't want to come right out and call him an abusing, control freak narc, but I do want to point him in the right direction with his therapist so that his therapist might get a clue about the deal is with him. Any thoughts?