The stress from leaving will end. The stress from staying will not.

I get that it's hard, we all understand that it's incredibly hard. But that's the bottom line - short term or long term stress.

Are you currently in
any kind of counseling
relationship? If you
are, is this a situation
in which you can
bring this concern?

If not, can you find
somewhere to plug
in get some support?

Can you visit a local
women's center?

Both suggestions have
been valuable resources
to many of us.

Please take good care.

I like liv's line- short term or long term stress.

I am sorry you are experiencing that. When I was in an extremely confused fog a while back, someone coined the term "gaslight" to describe what happened to me. It enraged me and I still struggle with anger over it.

You are not crazy!! And most importantly, not alone.

Thanks for the words of support. My biggest issue is breaking through the wall of fear about how I'll cover my healthcare (ulcerative colitis, fibromyalgia).

Have you called a woman's shelter, maybe a lawyer, gotten some expert advise on what you could expect as far as something in the divorce settlement that will alleviate this concern for you? My ex was required by our divorce decree to pay for my insurance for 5 years, and to cover all insurance costs for our daughter. Truth be told, he didn't quite comply with that (or umpteen other things). BUT I could have taken him to court and he could have had to pay all legal expense and been found in contempt of court for that (which I didn't because that wasn't worth it to me), but in your case with chronic health issues it would be worth it. Have you explored that as an option in depth?

....and as an aside, don't discount the fact that, as hard as it is to leave, your health problems may likely improve.
I expect my health problems might not be totally improved, but getting better without all of the daily stress of the relationship.