Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi all,
Having a rough day. Tomorrow marks an anniversary of sorts with the ex and I can't stop dwelling on him and what happened to cause end of our relationship. You know...that vicious circular thinking...that takes you all around the world and back...till you're finally left questioning whether it was really that bad after all.
Urrr. I hate this. And, not surprisingly, as time passes, I find it much easier to remember the good times in vivid recollection and the icky details of the bad stuff are starting to fade.
Oh I wait for the day that I wake up and have minimal, if any, thoughts about him. Could it come tomorrow please???
And while I'm at it...let me just say thanks again for all of your support. Finding this site has truly been a blessing!
LT
Having a rough day. Tomorrow marks an anniversary of sorts with the ex and I can't stop dwelling on him and what happened to cause end of our relationship. You know...that vicious circular thinking...that takes you all around the world and back...till you're finally left questioning whether it was really that bad after all.
Urrr. I hate this. And, not surprisingly, as time passes, I find it much easier to remember the good times in vivid recollection and the icky details of the bad stuff are starting to fade.
Oh I wait for the day that I wake up and have minimal, if any, thoughts about him. Could it come tomorrow please???
And while I'm at it...let me just say thanks again for all of your support. Finding this site has truly been a blessing!
LT
Oh boy, do I remember those days. I know it's not much consolation, but it does get better. I remember the first day I realized I hadn't thought about him for the whole day before. I almost felt like something was wrong, lol.
To this day, I still have thoughts about him. They just sort of pop in sometimes. I still have those moments where I think, if he was just.... And then I remind myself that he isn't just....(whatever I wished he would be) and he never will be. At that point I use an affirmation and that's enough to shift my thoughts and feelings. But I've done a LOT of intense therapy and been practicing this for years. It wasn't easy at first. I just wanted to stick my head under the pillow and stay in bed.
It really helped me to journal and/or free write, whether here on DS or off line, get those thoughts out. There's a website that describes a process called mourning pages by Julia Cameron. You might find that helpful. It fully explains the process.
http://juliacameronlive.com/basic-tools/morning-pages/
It also REALLY helped me to do a daily gratitude list. At first it was hard to find things, but the more I did, the more I did. ;-) By expressing gratitude for things that don't have anything to do with him, you shift not only your thoughts, you will also shift your feelings. Again, it takes practice.
This process is not for sissies, lol. But I know you can do it, one step, one minute at a time when need be.
Sending positive healing thoughts your way.
Today is one month that I moved out! I understand what you are going through... I actually said to myself several times today that "maybe I should go back...." not that I even remember the good.... it has been so long since there has been true good (the last time we had 1 1/2 days of good we were on vacation and I was waiting on pins and needs for the explosion so I just came out and said, "I am waiting for you to get angry and he laughed.... and then about 2 hours later he did not explode, but the attitude came out..... "you don't need to see your family... church won't help you/us, you need to .....")
Crazy and I pray to that the circling will stop...
I pray we both /all will have a calm day tomorrow!
Hugs and strength!!!!~
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. My advice would be to do something extra-nice for yourself tomorrow. Maybe...is there anything you ever wanted to do with him, or a place you wanted to go with him, but he refused? Or perhaps something you wanted to do but but he wouldn't allow you to do it? There might be a nice symbolism in doing something like that.
I agree with MTC that anything that helps you express yourself -- writing, painting, drawing, whatever -- could be really helpful. The gratitude list is a great idea, too. I still try to do that every day, though I do forget sometimes, but it really helps.
I hope you're feeling better soon.
Twist--- I hope you try something to make it easier for you too. You and I made big moves at the same time and and I know I look forward to your successes and supporting you in anyway I can....
try it too if you like... or do something to help you... (I do believe you are so much stronger so I know if you put your mind to it you will get through)
One suggestion: Always end on a positive note. I usually write out something(s) I am grateful for.
Take good care of yourself, pamper yourself and do something special for yourself.
I think MTC's gratitude list would be a terrific help also. Sometimes we tend to forget all the good things we have. I know I need to remind myself.
((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))))
Everyone else has given such great advice, I can only echo that.
Wishing you peace soon. Do lots of special things for yourself :) xx