Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I need you all to keep me strong. I have been pretty good until i saw my husband outside my work in a right state. He was crying and begging. pleading with me. i walked away from him and since ive been home ive been crying my heart out. He is not supposed to come near me and i keep a diary for the cops when he does.
I dont understand why i feel his pain and why i still miss the man that hurt me so much.
Its been about 10 weeks now and i still love him. I must be mad because i should hate him.
Another man asked me out for a meal, someone i have known for a long time, but i feel i cant. I feel as if im cheating if i do, i feel its to soon and i feel its not fair to the other person, even though he knows my pain.and would not pressure me.
My world is so messed up and i have such a long way to go to get over my husband.
I caught my husband, last week. as you know with a woman so why cant i let this go
His pleading today was him saying sorry for hurting me. How i wish i could rewind my life to a time before i met him.
He looks in a really bad way , but this is not my fault, it is his.
last week i was moving forward, seeing him today, in that state has knocked me back
I dont understand why i feel his pain and why i still miss the man that hurt me so much.
Its been about 10 weeks now and i still love him. I must be mad because i should hate him.
Another man asked me out for a meal, someone i have known for a long time, but i feel i cant. I feel as if im cheating if i do, i feel its to soon and i feel its not fair to the other person, even though he knows my pain.and would not pressure me.
My world is so messed up and i have such a long way to go to get over my husband.
I caught my husband, last week. as you know with a woman so why cant i let this go
His pleading today was him saying sorry for hurting me. How i wish i could rewind my life to a time before i met him.
He looks in a really bad way , but this is not my fault, it is his.
last week i was moving forward, seeing him today, in that state has knocked me back
I am so sorry you are experiencing this. Everything he does he is crossing your boundaries. Be careful and be safe!
You are right, it is his fault. Remember, he is an adult. He survived before you met, and he still can. He is responsible for his own mistakes, and the consequences they bring. He CHOSE to do everything he has done.
Stay strong. You don't need someone who would choose to hurt you. You have your brilliant self, your friends, and us! :)
I will say again, I am so proud of you for walking away!!
Huge hugs and take care of yourself xxx
Also, I know it's technically been 10 weeks, but it hasn't been 10 weeks with him out of your life, because despite what he's done and doing, he won't STAY out of your life.
It's going to take more time, unfortunately, but you are doing the right things. It will get easier.
I am glad you have had no contact----
Hugs and strength sent your way.
I feel you made the right decision in deciding this is too soon to be going out with another man- even if just friendly. You are too vulnerable right now and that wouldn't be fair to either of you.
I spent so many years feeling like there was something missing in ME if I couldn't make this marriage better. My H was so convincing that he was stable, reasonable, truly caring...but I never saw until recently for what it really was. I see now that my biggest blind spot was I was convinced he was more stable than I was.
He's garlic, sweetie, and garlic is never going to make chocolate chip cookies taste good no matter how many chips you use! I think you are being much too hard on yourself that these cookies have a funky taste (okay, not really funky more like toxic!). You are the sugar and chocolate chips dear one. You are not the garlic.
Hard question- do you REALLY love him? What do you love? Do you love him or your fantasy of him (who you'd like him to be and think he could be somehow)? Question I've had to ask myself.
I would keep distance and not contact him for a time. He has much influence over you as you've stated and he's looking for any opening to drag you on his merry go round of crazy, hurtful behavior. Combine that with you looking for a shred of hope that he will validate you and I'm afraid it will only lead to more tears.
Hugs go out to you!!!