Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Im sitting here feeling so low and down tonight. I havent heard from my husband in a few days and it feels like someone has died. I wish i didnt feel so empty. It is so hard to not feel this way. Im fighting it as best i can but the tears are hard to stop. I put on this brave face to all my family and people at work but inside my stomach is in knots. He isnt worth all this i know, after everything. But my heart is broken. I need someone to give me a cuddle and there is nobody to give me one. Im sorry but when does it all stop hurting?
As sucky as it is, it's part of the healing process. You are grieving multiple losses - the loss of a dream, a relationship, your fantasy of what you thought he & the relationship were, etc.
I know it might sound silly, but hug yourself. Talk to yourself (and your inner child) in a loving way. Remind yourself that you are a beautiful loving kind soul and that you are loved. If you have one, sit w/your pet. Allow yourself to cry all you need to. Crying is very cleansing. Tears actually are a way of flushing toxins out of the body. They are also a way of releasing some of the hurt.
These feelings will come and good with more coming in the beginning. You might want to check your local resources to see if they have grief support groups. It's really important to have a place to express out loud what you're feeling. stuffing it inside only creates depression & other dis-eases.
I know it's no comfort right now, but it does get better. I've been out 8 yrs, but only really started allowing myself to heal about 4 1/2 yrs ago. I've come a long way thru therapy and other self care, but I still have moments of sadness. But now that's all they are - brief moments.
When it all stops is a very individual thing. If you allow yourself to go thru the grieving process and take advantage of whatever support services are available to you, it will get better sooner than later, but if you fight it, it will take longer.
Sending you healing thoughts....
I have days like that too. In fact, just so you don't feel so alone, I actually used your exact phrase in one of my journal entries, "It feels like someone has died." It is a horrible feeling.
But after writing that journal entry, I did feel better again... it just took time. The things abusers do to us are so bad that afterwards, it IS grief that we feel, and grieving that we do.
Giving you lots of hugs from here... do something nice for yourself :) Thinking of you xx