Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
O m g I am the on divorce and break up page and just stumbled on this one. My husband has controlled me throughout our 4 year marriage. Read my journal please. He helped me set up my own business which I was pressured into. I already had a job before I met him and had been a single parent for ten years before him. He had me set up this business and quit my job which he pressured me into. I wasn't confident to do this but he made me do it. I only knew him 5 months before he booked and arranged our wedding. He has taken me to places to have sex with strangers which I never wanted to do. I always cried. And he was then texting and seeing my daughter behind my back. She is 27 and is a recovering drug addict who I have supported and helped. I have split from him so many times but he has cried and threatened to kill himself and I've always taken him back. It's been 5 week now that we are separated and this time I am determined to never take him back. I have been to the police as he is harassing and stalking me and I am having some councilling. This man takes no blame for anything but accuses me of cheating because I won't take him back. He has destroyed everything and doesn't like anyone to not like him. He asks me who knows we are not together . People think he is a nice guy. But he is not. He is controlling . I never understood why he helped me set up a buisness and could sometimes be a nice guy. especially around other people but behind closed doors be a different person. His obsessive demands for sex . so many things. The people on the divorce and breakups page have helped me loads and i am now writing here as i never knew this page existed and there are people similar to me here."
So sorry you've been through this.
Glad to hear that you're getting out
and that you're getting counseling.
Please be careful, and also
make sure you take very good
care of yourself.
Life WILL get better.
Sending you hugs
and healing prayers.
I am so sorry you are in this :(
So glad you have got out, and involved the police. Keep everything he sends you, texts, emails, written documents, etc. and record all his actions in writing with dates and times. This may help you and the police hold him responsible for things later.
Be careful, and post on here as much as you need to get help and support. We are all with you xx
You have found the right place to help you in breaking free of this monster. Sorry, but that is the nicest word I can come up with to describe him based on your post.
Do try and find a therapist as well. It is going to require all of your strength and wit to get through and over this relationship. But you can do it...in fact you have taken the hardest step already.
The men and women on here are amazingly insightful and wise. Please use this site to your advantage. There is no judging here. You are free to express whatever it is you need to say. While still new, I firmly believe I wouldn't be so far along without this site.
Big hugs. Hang in there. We care and we understand.
Also, please don't call yourself weak. To have taken the steps you've taken requires a great deal of strength and courage. I know you said you've gone back several times - most of us have gone back at least once. An often quoted stat (though I don't know where it comes from) is that it takes an average of 7 attempts to permanently leave an abusive relationship.
You are not weak, you are strong. So much stronger than you can see right now.
You are not stupid. You are strong, brave and smart. You never even would have attempted to leave any of those times if you weren't all of those things. You are also clearly caring, compassionate, loving and forgiving or you never would have gone back even once.
You are all manner of amazing things, just to have survived what you have endured. No matter what choices you make from here, you are not alone, we understand what you are going through and what you are feeling. None of those feelings is wrong - no feeling is wrong.
You can get through this.
Ok, I got a second job writing resumes online so I could make more money and still be home after my fulltime job and he wouldn't know. Our 18 yr old daughter was part of plan from the beginning. We slowly started throwing away clothes and stuff we knew we werent going to . I had our mail forwarded to a po box far away. I transferred to another location of my job (couldn't disappear from home and still work at same location. Only my patents know exactly where we are. Our daughter I away at college (he doesn't know where she is).
I know this Is just my story but you can do it. It won't be easy but if you want it bad enough you can do it. Get creative.
And stop calling yourseld stupstupid or dumb. You are neither.
((((((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))
I learned that breaking up, or divorcing from a non abusive relationship is difficult. Then, when you add your husbands controlling behavior and your own feelings into the process, it can be doubly hard.
Try to stay far away for your own health and welfare.
Keep trying......
You can do this!