I am hurting. The emotional abuse is like a stairway step, it escalates, then retreats, and sometimes he is sweet, but overall it is a climb into a very painful existence.

I'm relieved to discover a betrayal, because it finally gives me a reason to stay away. I can do it one day at a time. I called his family member/loved one and heard what he referred to is

"sounds like he's living a double life".

So I have a reason to stop engaging. I am grateful for this place. I came to DS in October after several months of trying to break up, and this has continued. It has gotten so severe, the emotional abuse. I am grateful for the feedback here. The counseling helped, to a point. I had to go through what I had to go through in order to stay away, and only today is certain.

I wished I'd left after the first lie, after the first abuse, or better yet trusted my gut when I realized how little he regarded me as a separate person, but more as an extension of him. The power and control are so apparent now in finding out how he uses deceit to have "one up" on me - it hurts. I hurt. I'll hurt less if I leave and stay away. We're not married, living together, have children... our lives are separate. I have a life. I am grateful for my work, as it engages me to detach from him and temporarily "forget" the pain I am in.