Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
The following is a piece I posted in my journal - it's just a bit of my own meditations and philosophising. A lot of symbolism and metaphor - my mind is a fairly abstract place :) But it feels important, I figured I'd share with everyone:
I'm sitting in the dark, typing by candlelight. I'm ruminating on the nature of the element of fire.
I played with fire as a kid. It fascinated me. I was scolded for it. But not just it - I was scolded for many of the natural properties fire posesses.
Fire obviously has its shadow side. It can take over, burn out of control. Burning too hotly, it keeps people away, or else hurts them. Fire is arrogant, overconfident, insatiable, consuming. It's greedy, angry, powerful, frightening, primal, overwhelming.
Today, we keep fire in a cage. We draw light from the cold glow of electricity. Heat is from air or water, warmed by a careful burner, kept hidden away. We keep smoke detectors to warn us of even the slightest trace of flame, cooking is done via electricity. We don't need fire.
Fire is strongest in the dark, and as such, it has an emotional connection to the dark. Sullen embers, sooty air, tortured souls in hell...
But fire is vulnerable. If it's in control, it's incredibly fragile. Unlike the other elements, it can cease to exist in a moment. Any of the other elements can overwhelm it and extinguish it. And yet it needs both careful balances of earth and air in order to exist. It is dependent on things which can easily destroy it in order to survive.
But what do we lose by eliminating fire, by not taking the time to nurture it? What are the bright sides to fire?
Fire is alive. Fire is passion. Fire is warm. Fire is friendly. Ambition, emotion, joy, romance. Purification, transformation, refinement, growth. Hope, Light. Courage.
Fire cooks food, fights back the cold, the night, the shadow, the beast, the monster. Fire is shelter, comfort, safety. Fire is the soul, the life, the energy. Fire is security, comforter, protector, friend. The smell of warm bread, the soft glow of candlelight, the warmth of a fireplace, the sizzle of a seared steak, the taste of hot chocolate.
Fire is confidence, Dignity. Self-respect. Motivation and drive. Change. Conflict. It's incredibly complex, and as such, frightening. It exists in a contradictory dual state. Generous and greedy, fragile and overwhelming, safety and danger, light and dark, creation and destruction. It is the pheonix, which lives brightest in its death, only to continue to paradoxically exist.
I"m not surprised we've worked so hard to tame fire, and yet in doing so, have robbed it of its bright side, increasing our fear of it. Leaving only the shadow side of flame to linger in our nightmares. It also strikes me interesting that so many abuse survivors are drawn to the pheonix. Abusers, in order to do what they do, must extinguish our inner flames. They make us afraid of fire. "Why are you so angry? You're so selfish." They put out our inner fires, burn us with their own anger - making us even more afraid of flame - and nurture and encourage our water nature. The giving, caring, empathetic, non-combative side. Unassuming, conforming, easily pushed aside aspect.
"The fire in his eyes" "He's so warm" "Don't keep your light under a bushel" Fire is what makes us alive, what moves us forward. Yes, it needs to be nurtured, respected, and tended. Yes, if left unchecked, it can burn out of control. But we cannot simply let it be extinguished. It's an essential part of the balance between the four forces - and more, one which has been directly attacked and discouraged by those who would control us. By putting out our own flame, we must turn to them for warmth. Or else die. Figuratively and literally, often.
I'm going to keep working on nurturing my inner fire. Of restoring the balance of respect, and not simply fearing it. I want it to be my friend, my protector, my home. Without it, the world is an awfully dark, cold, and friendless place.
I'm sitting in the dark, typing by candlelight. I'm ruminating on the nature of the element of fire.
I played with fire as a kid. It fascinated me. I was scolded for it. But not just it - I was scolded for many of the natural properties fire posesses.
Fire obviously has its shadow side. It can take over, burn out of control. Burning too hotly, it keeps people away, or else hurts them. Fire is arrogant, overconfident, insatiable, consuming. It's greedy, angry, powerful, frightening, primal, overwhelming.
Today, we keep fire in a cage. We draw light from the cold glow of electricity. Heat is from air or water, warmed by a careful burner, kept hidden away. We keep smoke detectors to warn us of even the slightest trace of flame, cooking is done via electricity. We don't need fire.
Fire is strongest in the dark, and as such, it has an emotional connection to the dark. Sullen embers, sooty air, tortured souls in hell...
But fire is vulnerable. If it's in control, it's incredibly fragile. Unlike the other elements, it can cease to exist in a moment. Any of the other elements can overwhelm it and extinguish it. And yet it needs both careful balances of earth and air in order to exist. It is dependent on things which can easily destroy it in order to survive.
But what do we lose by eliminating fire, by not taking the time to nurture it? What are the bright sides to fire?
Fire is alive. Fire is passion. Fire is warm. Fire is friendly. Ambition, emotion, joy, romance. Purification, transformation, refinement, growth. Hope, Light. Courage.
Fire cooks food, fights back the cold, the night, the shadow, the beast, the monster. Fire is shelter, comfort, safety. Fire is the soul, the life, the energy. Fire is security, comforter, protector, friend. The smell of warm bread, the soft glow of candlelight, the warmth of a fireplace, the sizzle of a seared steak, the taste of hot chocolate.
Fire is confidence, Dignity. Self-respect. Motivation and drive. Change. Conflict. It's incredibly complex, and as such, frightening. It exists in a contradictory dual state. Generous and greedy, fragile and overwhelming, safety and danger, light and dark, creation and destruction. It is the pheonix, which lives brightest in its death, only to continue to paradoxically exist.
I"m not surprised we've worked so hard to tame fire, and yet in doing so, have robbed it of its bright side, increasing our fear of it. Leaving only the shadow side of flame to linger in our nightmares. It also strikes me interesting that so many abuse survivors are drawn to the pheonix. Abusers, in order to do what they do, must extinguish our inner flames. They make us afraid of fire. "Why are you so angry? You're so selfish." They put out our inner fires, burn us with their own anger - making us even more afraid of flame - and nurture and encourage our water nature. The giving, caring, empathetic, non-combative side. Unassuming, conforming, easily pushed aside aspect.
"The fire in his eyes" "He's so warm" "Don't keep your light under a bushel" Fire is what makes us alive, what moves us forward. Yes, it needs to be nurtured, respected, and tended. Yes, if left unchecked, it can burn out of control. But we cannot simply let it be extinguished. It's an essential part of the balance between the four forces - and more, one which has been directly attacked and discouraged by those who would control us. By putting out our own flame, we must turn to them for warmth. Or else die. Figuratively and literally, often.
I'm going to keep working on nurturing my inner fire. Of restoring the balance of respect, and not simply fearing it. I want it to be my friend, my protector, my home. Without it, the world is an awfully dark, cold, and friendless place.
Cool stuff :) xx