Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
wow i just looked back on all my journals, its been over 3 years him and I have been together.
I have been going through a lil over 3 years of tumoil and heartache.
question: what makes us put ourselves through so much heartache. What makes us keep on trying?
Idk looking back i felt so much love for him,and now I feel nothing....I miss him.. but know that any kind of relationship between us isn't good....but yet there is a part of me that wants him in my life.
why? when I know it only is going to bring misery. It was walking into quicksand from the beginning, there was not a firm foundation at all.
I am starting to feel more at ease with myself and getting better at being by myself. Idk if we will ever talk again, but I do know I will always hold a special place in my heart for him, and it will take time to get over him.
Which i have to share this.
I spent some of my new years eve with my ex, my daughters dad. I just more or less drove him around while he drank. But when he was dropping me off later that night, he tried to kiss me on the lips and told me he loved me. I didn't answer I just smiled and said good night.
It was funny that I know now that I don't have those same feelings as before, I love him, but not as I used to when we were together. That part of my life is over.
I think that is what is going to happen in this situation. except I won't be in contact with him at all. I know its too dangerous. I just am saying that I will one day remember him and I will have forgiveness in my heart and he will be a fond memory. Even though there are bad memories, even though it was a toxic relationship, I believe that one day I will look back at it with a fondness and a smile. Because if I hang onto just the bad memories, I will continue to not forgive, and I have to forgive in order to heal. I guess just like a person dies, this relationship died and I have to find a way to move on without him.
I know I am a romantic, and I look at things with colored glasses. But I also have to balance that out and look at it with reality of abuse.
I just feel all filled with all sorts of emotions today. I hope I am gaining some sort of healing from our destructive relationship.
I have been going through a lil over 3 years of tumoil and heartache.
question: what makes us put ourselves through so much heartache. What makes us keep on trying?
Idk looking back i felt so much love for him,and now I feel nothing....I miss him.. but know that any kind of relationship between us isn't good....but yet there is a part of me that wants him in my life.
why? when I know it only is going to bring misery. It was walking into quicksand from the beginning, there was not a firm foundation at all.
I am starting to feel more at ease with myself and getting better at being by myself. Idk if we will ever talk again, but I do know I will always hold a special place in my heart for him, and it will take time to get over him.
Which i have to share this.
I spent some of my new years eve with my ex, my daughters dad. I just more or less drove him around while he drank. But when he was dropping me off later that night, he tried to kiss me on the lips and told me he loved me. I didn't answer I just smiled and said good night.
It was funny that I know now that I don't have those same feelings as before, I love him, but not as I used to when we were together. That part of my life is over.
I think that is what is going to happen in this situation. except I won't be in contact with him at all. I know its too dangerous. I just am saying that I will one day remember him and I will have forgiveness in my heart and he will be a fond memory. Even though there are bad memories, even though it was a toxic relationship, I believe that one day I will look back at it with a fondness and a smile. Because if I hang onto just the bad memories, I will continue to not forgive, and I have to forgive in order to heal. I guess just like a person dies, this relationship died and I have to find a way to move on without him.
I know I am a romantic, and I look at things with colored glasses. But I also have to balance that out and look at it with reality of abuse.
I just feel all filled with all sorts of emotions today. I hope I am gaining some sort of healing from our destructive relationship.
When I look back at my abusive relationships, I look at it more like a stage I went through. More of a repeating of my past and unfinished business from childhood. I question rather or not it was something i needed to do in order to move beyond abuse and in order to really understand myself and why i kept getting involved with addicted, abusive people, and to understand that familiarity had a lot to do with it. Maybe I can look at myself with back then with tenderness and forgiveness for choosing to tolerate the abuse because I just wasn't there yet in either understanding abuse or acceptance my choices.
I have heard and I agree that we need to forgive ourselves. And by doing that then we begin to heal.