Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I just wanted to drop a note to say thank you for this board and the wonderful people who make up this community. It has literally been a blessing.
I have been with my ex for almost 5 years. It has taken almost this entire length of time for his truely nsty side to come out. He was very good at conditioning me to accept less and less from him, to expect nothing more than the emotional crumbs he would dish out just long enough to get me hooked again. Honestly, his descent into cruelty was masterful. He literally made me feel so insane that I began to keep journals (note the plural, that is how long this has been going on) about our conversations and events written down word for word to make sure I wasn't making his promises/actions up. He was so good at pulling the 'I never said/did that,' line and manipulating facts that I began to believe that I was making it up! That all those times he made me cry were somehow my fault!!!
He even got me to go to court on his behalf to testify to his 'good' parenting skills... Even though I knew better. His ex had finally DV chaarges against him a year before we met. He always claimed that if he was really abusive that there would have been evidence long before she claimed, and that he would have been abusive to me too! He was just working on it...
It has taken me some serious therapy, and reading the stories here, to realize he is abusing me, and has been for years. I can't believe how many people have had the exact same conversations/situations that I have had with my ex for years... Almost word for word!!!
Seriously, how do they come up with all the same stuff?
I am now on day 2 of no contact, and each time I feel weak I come here... And each time, I feel renewed in my commitment to stay away from him.
Again... Thank you!!!
I have been with my ex for almost 5 years. It has taken almost this entire length of time for his truely nsty side to come out. He was very good at conditioning me to accept less and less from him, to expect nothing more than the emotional crumbs he would dish out just long enough to get me hooked again. Honestly, his descent into cruelty was masterful. He literally made me feel so insane that I began to keep journals (note the plural, that is how long this has been going on) about our conversations and events written down word for word to make sure I wasn't making his promises/actions up. He was so good at pulling the 'I never said/did that,' line and manipulating facts that I began to believe that I was making it up! That all those times he made me cry were somehow my fault!!!
He even got me to go to court on his behalf to testify to his 'good' parenting skills... Even though I knew better. His ex had finally DV chaarges against him a year before we met. He always claimed that if he was really abusive that there would have been evidence long before she claimed, and that he would have been abusive to me too! He was just working on it...
It has taken me some serious therapy, and reading the stories here, to realize he is abusing me, and has been for years. I can't believe how many people have had the exact same conversations/situations that I have had with my ex for years... Almost word for word!!!
Seriously, how do they come up with all the same stuff?
I am now on day 2 of no contact, and each time I feel weak I come here... And each time, I feel renewed in my commitment to stay away from him.
Again... Thank you!!!
Thank YOU for posting. Every time we hear of someone getting away, it lifts and inspires us all.
Keep on keeping on, and when it gets hard, post as often as you want, or pm or whatever you need to do to keep moving forward. And also remember that, if you DO backlide ... it's a lapse, you dust yourself off and start again.
Take good care, and congratulations again.
And I totally agree with you about this awesome group!
Take good care of you!!!
Good for you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
(Do the Cards!)
You deserve a life
free of abuse.
Don't stop till
it's yours!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You sound very strong to me to decide all by yourself to go no contact. I commend you. You deserve the credit.
Good luck and I wish you all the luck in the world.
I am sending tons of support and hugs!!!