I'm soo tired of the emotional abuse. That was my world (on top of a physical abuser--the rest has been severe enough emotional abuse). I'm tired of being made to feel really bad for no reason, small, demeaned, childish, when I'm a beautiful, intelligent, talented young woman worthy of just really basic respect. Just writing that makes me want to burst into sobs. I feel like a failure that I haven't managed to get away from all these people who want nothing other than to spit on my dreams, my basic dignity, and puff themselves up in a childishly arrogant way. Beat me down, like an angry child who never got the respect or dreams that every person deserves. Trying to make me like them. I feel like a failure that I haven't gotten away from them. I feel like I can barely go on, my dignity feels so utterly crumbled. I mean, they just hit me when I'm down. Who does that? Makes me cry. I want to run away and live on the streets and find my own way and choose who I let in my life. But I'm afraid I'll die, lol. Life is too much, too hard for some people, it seems to me. Just the fucking luck of the draw sometimes.