I realized yesterday that I am just really tired--exhausted actually--from trying to be "superwoman" and hold it together. I don't know how many more days I can keep on working full time, taking classes for my Bachelors, shuttling kids to and from doctor's and other places, making sure the house stays spotless, taking trash to the dump, making sure the laundry is done, doing the shopping (with very little money), making sure the bills get paid on time and having to beg, borrow, and plead for half of the rent money (which is the only thing he will pay), cooking for the kids then turning around and cooking a separate meal for him at 9 or 10 PM and cleaning it up, dealing with the worrying about the kids' problems, helping with homework and going to school meetings, trying to figure out how to get Alexis' stomach issues cleared up or at least under control and how to get Alyssa's weight issues under control. To top it off, having to deal with his roller coaster moods, be ready and willing to have sex whenever he deems it "time", and not having anybody to talk to because he is condescending or degrading or just hostile. I am just tired. There, that felt better.
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