Have someone with you or don't be there.

Don't be where he expects you to be. More than likely, this is a fishing expedition to see if you will still be there or respond to him. Think about all the attention he is giving you now that you aren't responding- he is testing you, like a horse tests an electric fence to see if they can find a weak spot. It is the same thing! :)

I. With you in my thoughts!!!

I barely get off work in the time he says he is going to be at my house and he may beat me to my house. If not, I suppose I can either hide at my neighbors as she has a garage or just drive. He knows where my father lives which is up the road from me and my sister in law the same. He will check those places.
I am so sick, I had just planned on going home and resting. I am so mad at him right now. My home is my safe place, my refuge and he won't even allow me that. :(

I'm sorry Joanie. I would ensure I had other obligations, even if that obligation is watching a movie by myself for a couple hours. Find something you've been putting off for yourself lately, and do it. Don't text him/call/contact. Just don't be available, period. Take good care of you!

(((HUGS)))

Just an update to let everyone know that he got to me. I knew he would find a way and I would break. I am conversing with him again but still no intimacy and I am managing to stay away physically for now, even though he wants to see me.
My head is a mess and my nerves are as well. Just taking it day by day and trying to stay strong and put myself first.

Sending you prayers
for your safety
and well-being.

Hi Joanie!
Don't be hard on yourself!! We have all been where you are before. When the time is right for you to leave, you will.

As always, my love and prayers to you!!!

He is such a headgamer. He was so frantic about getting ahold of me and seeing me, calling over and over until he got a response and then once he got in touch, he disappeared again. Didn't hear from him again till Sunday, last call had been Tues. He had left a voicemail that he wanted to get together and it was already 1:30 in the afternoon. I was thinking to myself, Bullshit! You had your weekend plan already with whoever and your bored now.
So I let it go to voicemail. Then he called again Monday wanting me to call, again no show of emotion on why I did not call, I let that go to voicemail and didn't return call. I ended up texting late at night, saying:

Got your vm. Too late to call by time I got in. Sounds like u had quite a day. Talk soon. (this was about 11pm)

I kept any emotion out of my text, made myself sound busy and nonchalant and have not heard back since.

I will never understand this man. :/

I think it's a good sign of our own mental health when we DON"T understand abusers. I would never want my mind to go there......shudder

That is a good point Fortress. It just seems that once I can wrap my mind around what their intent was/is, I can move on. Kind of like what the end/game or motivation is that spurs them on ..once I see through them, I can move forward. Not sure if that makes sense?
Its almost as if I have to make sure I have done everything possible to salvage the relationship and then once I know I have, I can step away.

The "end game" is to keep you confused and connected. That's as far as it goes - he controls you by having you constantly wondering.

Ultimately, the aim of the game is to keep you playing, any way he can. Once you're playing, he can leave you be for a bit. But then if you stop contacting him, he realises you might be walking away from the game, so he has to get you back in the game and will do whatever it takes.