Hello, I am new to this forum and I just wanted to take a moment to share my story: It's been 9 months and 7 days since my abusive relationship ended. My boyfriend walked out on me without warning or a goodbye. In the months we were together, we had discussed marriage and the possibility or relocating to another state. Thankfully, this did not happen. Ironically, I didn't realize I was a battered woman until two weeks after the relationship ended! The majority of the abuse was emotional/psychological and it was during our last encounter that it became physical (although I convinced myself that the behavior was something else). I have been fortunate to have had access to many educational and counseling resources including assistance from my local domestic/dating violence center. I have learned important lessons: not to confuse intimacy with intensity; pay attention to red flags; not to ignore concrete facts in favor of circumstantial evidence and most of all, that falling in love with someone should mean being able to love myself. Looking back, I can see signs that he may have been physically abusive to his ex-wife (he called it rough sex); financially abusive to his ex-partner (he called it "helping her manage her money") and I know he was psychologically abusive to me (probably because I didn't live with him or give him access to my bank account). I am here because I am slowly working through my rage at him, myself and the people who enable him. I am also sad because I have no legal recourse (no "real crime" was committed) and he has absolutely no remorse (he lives in a world that is pathologically self-centered). Even worse, I am scared. Not so much for me - I have ceased all contact with him. I am really scared for other women out there. The more I learn and reflect on what happened during my time with him, the more I feel that, like so many abusers, he poses a real danger to other women and even children. I'm here because my feelings and my fears are very difficult for many people to understand. To some, I am just another ex-lover who is bitter and burned after being jilted. The truth is, I am not sure who I am now. I know that I am definitely not the person I was before the relationship began and ended. Joining this online community is my step toward getting better acquainted with the new woman I have become. Any suggestions?
Posts You May Be Interested In