Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
A little about my life, I seem to always be in abusive relationships mostly, emotional and verbal. Finally I was free of, I met a man who seemed great, like all he had small issues, mostly because of what he went through with his ex. He changed, he is not the same man, he is getting depression, ranting, fighting with me, he has zero trust in me, that part I do not understand, I have given him no reason to not trust me. Then when there is something he doesnt like or what ever, he says well that is what "she" used to do, and look at how that turned out. He compaires me to his ex all the time. When we met he said he had a job, car, apartment, access to money he owned a business. I thought wow really, a man with something. Well he was not working, he owned the business but got nothing out of it, his son had the car, he was living with his 2 kids. He was on assistance, making $220 a month. I found out he couldnt drive because he had had a stroke, which is why he was not working as well... but it took me a while before that even came out. Also he had said he was separated for a year, well that was not the truth either, it had been a month. And what he went through emotionally with his ex, he should have been in treatment right away. Finally today he went to therapy, I thought finally he will get help for what she did, and things should get better... NOT he came home and blammed me for everything that is wrong.. He said it is becaue I do not show him love anymore... would you show your partner love if they kept telling you, you were just like their ex. I am just depressed and cry a lot these days.
This man has told you lie after lie after lie about almost every aspect of his life. And yet you still believe what he tells you about what he went through with his ex (did it ever occur to you he might be lying about that too? - if he really went through hell emotionally, how was it so easy for him to pick himself up and start afresh with you after only a month?) He is now blaming you for everything that's wrong. If you walk away, he will no doubt tell his next partner all about the hell you put him through as well. And she might well believe him too.
Ask yourself, what are you actually getting out of this relationship? He cannot be trusted (which is, incidentally, why he doesn't trust you - pure projection) and he blames you for his own issues. What is he giving to you emotionally, beyond blame, projection, distrust, dishonesty and unfair comparisons?
His feelings towards you and treatment of you seem to have nothing to do with *you*. It has everything to do with him.
He has lied to you several times which means he is the one that can't be trusted.
I see that he blames his ex for all his problems and now he is blaming you too.
If you can get therapy with a qualified domestic abuse therapist, it will help you see why you keep finding yourself in bad relationships. A regular therapist may not be of any help. Ask for someone who specializes in domestic abuse.
Also, you can call a domestic abuse hotline even if you are not being physically abused. They will answer your questions about your relationship and help connect you to resources.