Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hello friend ,
sorry ive been away , ive been quite ill and unable to get online.
To bring you up to date......i was offered a 2 bed place by my locla council and then they took it off me because they had made a mistake and i had been offered it accidentally and it was meant for someone else and then i was offered a 1 bed place and then i was told i couldnt move in because it need repairs done , then i fell very ill and had to let it go because at the time i was ill they wouldnt wait !!
So now im still living with husband , for now.....
Everything was fine and dandy , you know like it is for a while and then BOOM...something else happens........the abusive cycle.......
Yesterday i had spent all day doing things with him , i dont know why , you know what its like when they are being nice and everything 'seems' ok....so i personally think we had a nice day together and then at 5pm he decides he wants to wash up......our youngest girl wants a life to her boyfriends.....i dont like her walking there as its not the nicest of areas but he wont move so.......
he went absolutley ballistic with us both blaming us for wanting to go out when hes washing up and needs me to dry!!.he never does anything at all unless someone else is helping him and then its all favours to him etc.......
anyway i took our daughter to her fellas and came back , he was in a bad mood as he had to dry up alone?
i just sat down and told him that this has to stop NOW.....i was shaking and could feel myself getting upset.........
i carried on talking getting more and more upset and then it all came out.....how i felt , that i never know where i am with him , that hes killing the relationship.......that he doesnt seem bothered that hes scaring me?
i sat there , hardly being able to breathe , literally sobbing and talking......and do you know....he just sat there looking at me !!!
i just dont know anymore........i dont know how someone who has told you a few hours ago that they love you and then literally do nothing when you see that same person in so much pain emotionally and do nothing>????
xx
sorry ive been away , ive been quite ill and unable to get online.
To bring you up to date......i was offered a 2 bed place by my locla council and then they took it off me because they had made a mistake and i had been offered it accidentally and it was meant for someone else and then i was offered a 1 bed place and then i was told i couldnt move in because it need repairs done , then i fell very ill and had to let it go because at the time i was ill they wouldnt wait !!
So now im still living with husband , for now.....
Everything was fine and dandy , you know like it is for a while and then BOOM...something else happens........the abusive cycle.......
Yesterday i had spent all day doing things with him , i dont know why , you know what its like when they are being nice and everything 'seems' ok....so i personally think we had a nice day together and then at 5pm he decides he wants to wash up......our youngest girl wants a life to her boyfriends.....i dont like her walking there as its not the nicest of areas but he wont move so.......
he went absolutley ballistic with us both blaming us for wanting to go out when hes washing up and needs me to dry!!.he never does anything at all unless someone else is helping him and then its all favours to him etc.......
anyway i took our daughter to her fellas and came back , he was in a bad mood as he had to dry up alone?
i just sat down and told him that this has to stop NOW.....i was shaking and could feel myself getting upset.........
i carried on talking getting more and more upset and then it all came out.....how i felt , that i never know where i am with him , that hes killing the relationship.......that he doesnt seem bothered that hes scaring me?
i sat there , hardly being able to breathe , literally sobbing and talking......and do you know....he just sat there looking at me !!!
i just dont know anymore........i dont know how someone who has told you a few hours ago that they love you and then literally do nothing when you see that same person in so much pain emotionally and do nothing>????
xx
Do what you have to do to find joy in your life.
Sad to say, seeing you over-wrought and crying was simply an indication to him that his manipulative behaviour had worked. He was probably incensed that you took your daughter to her BF's place when he was trying to control you both into staying by playing Lord of the Washing Up Bubbles. You went anyway, so to him that was a loss of control - no matter how small. Your tears and being upset would simply have acted like balm to him...
I hope you get the offer of another home soon so that you are able to leave him. Ill-health and abusers aren't a good mix. He'll make things even worse for you.
Now that you're feeling a bit better
start again to get your ducks in a
row, to leave.
Abusers always change.
They get worse and WORSE.
You ask, at the end of your thread,
how someone can tell you they
love you and then, within hours,
be a complete shit.
That's the profile of an abuser.
The "how's" and "why's" are
ultimately irrelevant.
Please take good care of yourself
and get yourself and your children
if you can, free from under the
roof of abuse.
Hugs and healing thoughts.
Showing your pain tells him he succeeded. He "taught you a lesson" for walking out on his drying up. That's why he didn't do anything - because there was nothing TO do. He got the desired result.
I hope you can find a way out.