Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Hi all,
I'm struggling with PTSD within my marriage and some days it's over the top hard while other days I'm numb to a lot of things and everything in between the two. The PTSD is from when my husband was battling severe depression to the point that he wanted to hurt himself. I did a lot to keep him alive and going and get him and us out of the situation that caused his depression to kick in again (he struggled with depression and alcohol when he was a teen) but it's been a lot of up and down since then.
I wanted to post something tonight because I have been struggling with staying with my husband or not. He ends up being my biggest trigger sometimes and while I've never considered him abusive, on a few occasions when he is feeling very insecure, lonely and/or embarrassed about something (we have opposite work schedules and that is a sore spot for him) he takes it out on me. He's never laid a hand on my but sometimes he gets this intense disapproving look on his face that bothers me deeply. A few weeks ago he actually picked a fight and started yelling at me on a weekend that I was helping a friend both at work and outside of work. She doesn't have many people here so I am her person when she needs it. He is friends with her too so I didn't understand the problem. Quite a while back, one or two winters ago, I tried getting my husband into counseling because he was drinking again and even worse he occasionally mixed it with his depression and anxiety meds. He got so angry and defensive one night and said some negative things to me I stayed in the kitchen and ate my dinner standing while he ate in the living room. I didn't know what to do.
I do want to say that we met in the food industry and kitchen folks are pretty rough around the edges. We speak to each other the way no one else would but we (kitchen people) know where the line is. I feel like he has crossed the line before. I'm afraid maybe I crossed a line at some point in time but maybe that's just me putting blame where it doesn't belong again.
If anyone has any thoughts please share. I've never considered my husband abusive but after doing some reading I'm starting to feel like maybe he fits the bill from time to time?I usually do things based off of how he will likely feel or react. Maybe that's coming back to the PTSD of how his illness effected him and me still wanting to protect him or help him? Now I'm looking for help and answers. Sorry, this got long fast.
Thanks in advance.
I'm struggling with PTSD within my marriage and some days it's over the top hard while other days I'm numb to a lot of things and everything in between the two. The PTSD is from when my husband was battling severe depression to the point that he wanted to hurt himself. I did a lot to keep him alive and going and get him and us out of the situation that caused his depression to kick in again (he struggled with depression and alcohol when he was a teen) but it's been a lot of up and down since then.
I wanted to post something tonight because I have been struggling with staying with my husband or not. He ends up being my biggest trigger sometimes and while I've never considered him abusive, on a few occasions when he is feeling very insecure, lonely and/or embarrassed about something (we have opposite work schedules and that is a sore spot for him) he takes it out on me. He's never laid a hand on my but sometimes he gets this intense disapproving look on his face that bothers me deeply. A few weeks ago he actually picked a fight and started yelling at me on a weekend that I was helping a friend both at work and outside of work. She doesn't have many people here so I am her person when she needs it. He is friends with her too so I didn't understand the problem. Quite a while back, one or two winters ago, I tried getting my husband into counseling because he was drinking again and even worse he occasionally mixed it with his depression and anxiety meds. He got so angry and defensive one night and said some negative things to me I stayed in the kitchen and ate my dinner standing while he ate in the living room. I didn't know what to do.
I do want to say that we met in the food industry and kitchen folks are pretty rough around the edges. We speak to each other the way no one else would but we (kitchen people) know where the line is. I feel like he has crossed the line before. I'm afraid maybe I crossed a line at some point in time but maybe that's just me putting blame where it doesn't belong again.
If anyone has any thoughts please share. I've never considered my husband abusive but after doing some reading I'm starting to feel like maybe he fits the bill from time to time?I usually do things based off of how he will likely feel or react. Maybe that's coming back to the PTSD of how his illness effected him and me still wanting to protect him or help him? Now I'm looking for help and answers. Sorry, this got long fast.
Thanks in advance.
though I'm sorry for the
circumstances that
have brought you here.
What you describe is a
household with multiple
issues.
And yes. . . . if he takes out
his issues on You, then he's
being abusive. . . and whether
or not he's ever "laid a hand"
on you, is NOT the determining
factor about whether what he
does is abusive or not.
I urge you to get yourself
set up with a highly qualified
therapist, and work with him
or her on an on-going basis.
Please make sure you
take the best possible
care of yourself.
Sending you hugs
and wishes for
better days.
Thanks for the welcome and kind words.