Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I'm in a relationship with a guy. Everything was going great, we lived with each other for 7 months, and then he flipped a twig. He beat me up and called me horrible names. Not to the point that I needed surgery or anything, I just had a lot of bruises and swollen areas. It's been almost a year since that happened, and we're still together. We want to work it out, you know? I went to therapy while he was in jail, but I don't think it really helped. It was like the counselor wasn't really listening. He just kept checking the time, and I'm pretty sure he was just doodling in that notebook. The guy has been in counseling, but they weren't really specializing in domestic violence, so he's starting a new class on wednesday. Last night he just went off because we've been having a lot of problems lately...(money, I can't sleep, I'm depressed, he doesn't feel like he pleases me, I don't feel like I please him) there's many factors. He hasn't beat me up since, or yelled at me like he did before. He really is a good guy. I don't feel nervous unless he gets mad, but it's never really me he's mad at, and I've learned to not bother him and be quiet. But now I'm really stressed out and it's like I don't even want to go home. I just don't know what to do. I guess I don't really even want an answer, I just wanted to vent.
A good guy would never beat anyone up, ever!
A good guy shouldn't make you feel like you don't want to go home.
A good guy doesn't have you living in constant fear that you'll make him mad.
You've obviously come to this forum because you know this and want some help. You recognise that you are living with an abuser.
We've all been charmed by abusers at one point. It's this charm that makes us believe if we adjust things he'll change. Rarely that is the case. It's like continuously drinking expired milk hoping that if we wait a while and keep drinking it won't be sour anymore, when we should just discard it.
Please try and get some real help. I'm sorry the therapist appeared apathetic. At the very least talk to us here and maybe we can help you make the steps to get out.