Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
So on Friday my boyfriend told me that he is being abused by his mom (we are 14) I him told I wouldn't tell but now I am questioning that. I have gone around and around with it in my mind. It hurts so much to know what he has gone through. I am peeved at his mom too. I am more worried about his 4 year old brother and his 6 month old sister (there is another on the way as well) because he is almost 18 and out of there but they have several years yet. I would hate to see those kids taken from there parents but maybe that is what is best. If I were to tell what would happen? is telling the better thing to do? If I were to tell would my boyfriend be taken? Would they just take his mom and they would continue to live with there step dad? SO MANY QUESTIONS!!!
If you follow to this link it might give you more of an outlook of what abuse really is, and reminding you, your boyfriend and his other brother and sister are growing, just imagine how painful it is to hear that they would have to suffer from an abusive mom and nobody stepped up to stop it in time.
http://kidshealth.org/teen/your_mind/families/family_abuse.html
All of them are Innocent, treat like they are and get help as soon as possible for them.
Some signs of child abuse are subtler than others. However, by learning common types of abuse and what you can do, you can make a huge difference in a childs life. The earlier abused children get help, the greater chance they have to heal from their abuse and not perpetuate the cycle.
To get help or report abuse in the US or Canada, call the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline at 1-800-4-A-CHILD (1-800-422-4453).
Most child abusers are strangers.
Fact: While abuse by strangers does happen, most abusers are family members or others close to the family
Abused children always grow up to be abusers.
Fact: It is true that abused children are more likely to repeat the cycle as adults, unconsciously repeating what they experienced as children. On the other hand, many adult survivors of child abuse have a strong motivation to protect their children against what they went through and become excellent parents.
~~Effects of child abuse and neglect
Lack of trust and relationship difficulties.
~~Core feelings of being worthless or damaged.
~~Trouble regulating emotions.
Risk factors for child abuse and neglect
While child abuse and neglect occurs in all types of familieseven in those that look happy from the outsidechildren are at a much greater risk in certain situations.
1) Domestic violence. Witnessing domestic violence is terrifying to children and emotionally abusive. Even if the mother does her best to protect her children and keeps them from being physically abused, the situation is still extremely damaging. If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationships, getting out is the best thing for protecting the children.
2) Alcohol and drug abuse
3) Untreated mental illness
4) Lack of parenting skills
5) Stress and lack of support.
Safety comes first. If you feel that your safety or the safety of the child would be threatened if you try to intervene, leave it to the professionals. You may be able to provide more support later after the initial professional intervention.
Avoid denial and remain calm. A common reaction to news as unpleasant and shocking as child abuse is denial. However, if you display denial to a child, or show shock or disgust at what they are saying, the child may be afraid to continue and will shut down. As hard as it may be, remain as calm and reassuring as you can.
I dont want to interfere in someone elses family. The effects of child abuse are lifelong, affecting future relationships, self-esteem, and sadly putting even more children at risk of abuse as the cycle continues. Help break the cycle of child abuse.
What if I break up someones home? The priority in child protective services is keeping children in the home. A child abuse report does not mean a child is automatically removed from the home - unless the child is clearly in danger. Support such as parenting classes, anger management or other resources may be offered first to parents if safe for the child.
They will know it was me who called. Reporting is anonymous. In most states, you do not have to give your name when you report child abuse. The child abuser cannot find out who made the report of child abuse.
It wont make a difference what I have to say. If you have a gut feeling that something is wrong, it is better to be safe than sorry. Even if you dont see the whole picture, others may have noticed as well, and a pattern can help identify child abuse that might have otherwise slipped through the cracks.
If you see clearly, all this makes a difference, please call for safety for the 6 month old, and the 4 year old, and also your boyfriend.