Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group

Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.

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mstillstanding 02/15/2015

I left him 6 days ago. I haven't heard from him since a drunken text on Thursday night. He is alcoholic, abusive, depressed & probably bi-polar. He son has been in touch with me since last night because he can't get him to answer the phone (son lives 3 hours away & knows the situation). He has only a few people in his life. I would say that his son & I are the only ones that he could count on, and now I'm gone.

I'm afraid for him and I could be there in 5 minutes just to see if he is alive. But then what? I don't want to get into anything with him. I just want to know he is okay. I know that he is probably drinking & I really, really, really don't want to feel responsible for him.
But the truth is I do. I do know that he is feeling really down & that he is not stable.
Damn

MyTrueColors 02/15/2015

If I remember correctly, you are not married to this guy, so, it is really up to a family member to check on him.

Please do NOT go over there.

His son can call the police and ask them to check on him. Son can explain that dad is an alcoholic and he is worried about him & lives too far away.

You can feel as responsible for him as much as you want/need, but that doesn't mean you have to do anything to put yourself in harm's way.

This guy is an alcoholic so he isn't stable and he is feeling really down. But you going to see him or making any kind of contact with him will NOT make him feel any better or stabilize him. HE is responsible for the consequences of his actions, NOT YOU.

Please take good care of yourself. I know it's hard, believe me I know. And you are doing really well! So stay No Contact.

~hugs~

lovemypreciousfamily 02/15/2015

Please stay away probably planned it cos he know you would worry keep remembering the reason you left if you go back your just going back to that horrible life...... call 911 if yor worried dont go back hun seriously... they know what theyre doing

justaguest 02/15/2015

His son can call the local police dept. (I don't think it has to be 911) and request a welfare check. The police can just drive by and check on him. That's what I would recommend doing.

mstillstanding 02/15/2015

I gave in. I got in my car & started over there. I sent his son a text when I left & I was 3 blocks away when his son called me back. His son said he was fine & that he had told him we were broken up & that he was glad I was gone.
I was weak to head over there. I let my codependence and anxiety overrule my common sense. I should have waited & thought it through. Someone is looking out for me that I didn't get all the way there. I am not hurt that he says he is glad I'm gone. I really, really hope it's true.
I need to be stronger. I need to get this guy out of my head.

lovemypreciousfamily 02/15/2015

your so brave Hun, he only said that because he is trying to make out like he isn't bothered, the fact he can't control is bothering him you got away you are no longer 'his' he obviously is trying to gt at you just think of your daughters and how he treated you maybe get therapy for what he did to you, just remember how he becomes is NOT your fault he has choices he chose to be a horrible person not you, if he was such a good person he would try stop drinking if he knew how it made him, but he isn't and wont

HUGS!!!

ohiostreetjoe 02/15/2015

You are a good person who cares and has good intentions. Don't give it away to an abuser. Abusers are users of people who care and have good intentions. They value no one.

I wish you well. There are good people who deserve you.

Stop asking yourself if people will like you. Begin asking yourself if you will like the people you will meet in the future.

I wish you well.

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