Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
Once again, I am back in a situation with my husband where he has to quit smoking pot to go back to work. He starts smoking over the summer when he is laid off and has to quit before going back to a seasonal job.
So now, he is a complete maniac. Yelling at me for every stupid little thing, calling me names and being a complete jerk.
I am not sure how to get through it again. I have dealt with this for years, and even though he is not drinking now, it was far worse in the past when he was drinking.
The anger and yelling is just horrible and I try to ignore it but I can't.
I find myself crying a lot more and taking anxiety meds just to deal with when he comes home angry. He has already called me on the phone and yelled at me tonight telling me that it is my fault that he is going to get home late because he has to go the grocery store since I did not.
I asked him in the morning what he wanted and he told me he would go, and now he is turning it around on me. Even if I did go, he would still find something to be angry about.
The thing is, I know all this, and I still let it get to me and I still stay with the asshole. I don't even want to be with him anymore, but I stay. I am not sure why. We have an amazing, wonderful son together and I know it hurts him to see the anger, I don't want him to see it anymore. I think I am more scared to leave though, because I am not sure what he would do.
I hate this so much and just needed to come here to vent. I have been here before and gotten so much support from everyone. I am so grateful for that. I know I am a good person who does not deserve this horrible behavior - so why do I stay?
So now, he is a complete maniac. Yelling at me for every stupid little thing, calling me names and being a complete jerk.
I am not sure how to get through it again. I have dealt with this for years, and even though he is not drinking now, it was far worse in the past when he was drinking.
The anger and yelling is just horrible and I try to ignore it but I can't.
I find myself crying a lot more and taking anxiety meds just to deal with when he comes home angry. He has already called me on the phone and yelled at me tonight telling me that it is my fault that he is going to get home late because he has to go the grocery store since I did not.
I asked him in the morning what he wanted and he told me he would go, and now he is turning it around on me. Even if I did go, he would still find something to be angry about.
The thing is, I know all this, and I still let it get to me and I still stay with the asshole. I don't even want to be with him anymore, but I stay. I am not sure why. We have an amazing, wonderful son together and I know it hurts him to see the anger, I don't want him to see it anymore. I think I am more scared to leave though, because I am not sure what he would do.
I hate this so much and just needed to come here to vent. I have been here before and gotten so much support from everyone. I am so grateful for that. I know I am a good person who does not deserve this horrible behavior - so why do I stay?
It's very hard to ignore anger and yelling, and even if you do, your child can't. It's got to be affecting him.
If you're here, you know you're in a bad situation. you say you don't know what he'll do if you leave, but do you know what he'll do if you stay? If you leave you won't be there.
and for what your son is learning
about how to be a man and a
partner.
There are a couple dozen reasons
why it's hard to leave an abuser.
The reasons don't really matter.
Have you visited your local
women's center or women's aid center?
If you haven't, already, I urge you to do
that very, very soon.
Leaving is not easy. But it's possible.
And it's the only thing that will
move your life and our son's life
to a better, healthier track. Stay,
and things will not only, continue
on as they've been, but they will,
guaranteed, get worse and worse.
Sending you hugs and healing thoughts.
Please take good care of yourself.
I posted something about smoking pot a while ago. When my bf doesn't have any he's far worse than he is with it. In the past I actually bought it for him... just so he'd be somewhat human.
But now I have realized that he's a shit regardless. Nothing will change that. And yet, like you, I stay. Why? I have no clue. It's surely not all the love and affection I get. Or all the sex we have. I get none of that.
I hope you can find your way out. It's so hard, I know. I'm still trying. I can see that light at the end of the tunnel. I'm just having trouble getting there!
Deciding to leave is hard, and a very personal decision. it sounds like you may be starting to think along those lines though. I think you see that it is not healthy for your son to be around that environment.
Just take it one day at a time and start making plans about what you COULD do in the future. Take care of YOU and your son.
It is impossible to be in this kind of toxic situation and it not affect you, so don't beat yourself up about that. I love what Patricia Evans says, to not ever believe the LIE that you should be strong enough to live with constant abuse and it not affect you.
I will be praying and rooting for you and your son,