Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
I joined a dating website. I only doing it for company and to get my mind off of pothead. All these months later I wake up thinking of him. and go to sleep thinking of him. I know I'm not ready for any relationship. just reaching out for friends. I seen pothead a few days ago n we talked a bit but i went my direction n he went his. i finally accepting we are not going to be together anymore. and i sometimes feel like what did i do wrong. how come he don't love me. the self blame game. i wonder in amazement is there something i could have done to change it. i know ....no. how come we blame ourselves?
We blame ourselves because they want us to. They want to walk away scot-free while we beat ourselves up. They are cruel and inhumane. That is what an abuser amounts to, unfortunately :(
The fact that he CAN'T love you is HIS deficiency, and HIS loss. There is nothing 'in' you that made him act this way. He would act this way with any person he tried to abuse and control.
I do understand how it is difficult to get them out of mind. But please PLEASE do not blame yourself. It is not and was never your fault.
Take care and big hugs xx
I am so proud of you, good for you for keeping on track.
Also thank you for sharing.
Maybe it would makes things a little more settled in your mind, that if you didn't do Ilenes cards that you could look at to remind you all the bad stuff he did to you, make a list. You could be more objective, now and pretend it was your best friend or daughter getting this treatment and maybe it would make letting go easier.
I hope you and all your family are doing well.
Take good care of yourself and treat yourself to something special once in awhile!!!!
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