Good Morning everyone! I am sorry I havent been on in a while. I am doing okay and still in no contact with my ex. Since he left my lights got turned off, and I was staying with my cousin and my kids stayed with my aunt. I am moving back this Thursday and probably going to have a prayer service done at my home with family and friends.
I was supported by my cousin through the whole ordeal. He knows she don't like him and would kick his a** if he even showed up at her home. So I had no problem staying no contact with him. If I had been at home he probably would already be in contact with me. Thank goodness for family.
It has been a tough two months being out of my home and not with my kids. But I know that I needed this alone time to heal and take care of myself. I dove off the wagon one night and totally got smashed and cried and bawled. I know that isn't the most healthy choice but it helped me cry the tears I wouldn't have normally cried. Because I have to be strong and crying isn't what i normally do. It makes me feel weak. But I let my tears go and I am finally able to walk out the door and not look over my shoulder anymore. I feel safe and he hasn't tried to contact me by phone or any other way. I am thankful.
It feels good not getting the daily calls at work to check and see what I am doing. Not feeling the dread of going home and wondering what argument we will get into this evening. I enjoy my work environment a lot better now and feel a sense of freedom I haven't felt in a long time. We both agreed on our last conversation that our relationship was unhealthy. It hurt so much watching him leave and not being able to hold him. But I am okay now.
Just checking in. luv n hugs everyone!