well its been 2 days since we had contact, I was doing good and then I text him, he called that next morning and said he would talk to me later during the day, then he text later that day and told me he loved me, well that opened the door for me, and I started texting him non stop until this morning, when I figured he is mad because I gave my daughters dad a ride two days in a row. But i will always help my daughters dad out, I just pray he finds a woman that will help him out soon, and take care of him, I just have that kind of heart. My ex had a girlfriend for a short period of time, but he was changing directions in life, and she wasn't willing to follow so they parted ways. I have to admit there was a twinge of jealousy on my part, but it past. It was because when me and my ex were together, she lived right across the street. and at one time I believe he was cheating with her, and of all times it was when I was in the hospital with my daughter after a c section. So I think that is where the jealousy came from. Thank goodness it passed.
As for my SO I need to just come to the acceptance that it is over, even though he is abusive, I was willing to stick it out with him, now he probably most likely moved on to his next victim, I feel sorry for this next one, if its who I think it is, she is very beautiful, and he is no catch, but I believed him to be sexy. If that makes sense. I think it was the emotional attachment I have to him. He made me very emotionally attached to him.
I am going through these phases where I can't sleep, and then I can't function, I wonder what smear campaign he is using on me, to make me look like the bad person, so he can hook his next victim in.
I don't know but I am glad that I am away from his abuse. At the same time, I wish he would come back to me. I loved the good times. I know we are supposed to dwell on the bad times so we can un attach to them, but its hard to when I see things around the house that remind me of him. I try to put them away for now, so I can move on, but I will be looking for an item and then that will pop out from no where.
he still has a lot of items that belong to me. I wish I could get them because they are irreplaceable. ugh!
And we still have a couple of items that need to be paid off, by him of course, but I don't know if he will or not.
I just wish this ugly merry go round would quit. k thanks everyone for letting me vent. I will be back again sometimes today, I have a funeral that I will be attending today and that will take my mind off for a bit.