Physical & Emotional Abuse Support Group
Abuse is a general term for the treatment of someone that causes some kind of harm (to the abused person, to the abusers themselves, or to someone else) that is unlawful or wrongful. No one deserves abuse, period. Abuse can be emotional, physical, or sexual.
About four weeks ago I had to call Child Protective Services on my two second cousins. I felt like the older one, who is severely sick, was not being treated right and that both boys were being neglected. Their step father has abused the younger before. Monday CPS met with both boys alone. Latter that night the step father beat the hell out of the younger.
The older called me, I have gotten him a cell phone which has been a life preserver for him through all of this and when the parents caught him talking to me they turned the phone off and I had no idea if he was alright. I do not know all of the details yet, but the boy has at least one cracked rib! I can no longer stand by and watch this family go to hell. The boys are being raised so much like I was.
I moved here to be with family and escape my own hell, not to raise two boys. To make matters worse I am a Scout leader and youth group leader. How can I justify letting this happen? I dont want to lose the boys and I dont want the step father to go on a killing rampage. My solution is a child abuse intervention! I am getting the whole family together, the boys parents, aunt and the grandparents. I am going to make a list of demands and let the step father know everything. The mother has been lying a lot, and I dont think it would be as bad as she thinks. It doesnt matter, the lying, the abuse, it all has to end NOW!
I am going to show the family everything I have been doing, who I am, my credentials and that I dont want to take over the boys, but if I must, then so be it. If they dont want to listen to me I will notify CPS and petition for custody. I know some may not think this is the right avenue to take, but I am at a loss here. I want to help the boys, not hurt them and I think by going to CPS that it might cause more damage.
Any advice on the intervention? Anyone else gone through something like this?
The older called me, I have gotten him a cell phone which has been a life preserver for him through all of this and when the parents caught him talking to me they turned the phone off and I had no idea if he was alright. I do not know all of the details yet, but the boy has at least one cracked rib! I can no longer stand by and watch this family go to hell. The boys are being raised so much like I was.
I moved here to be with family and escape my own hell, not to raise two boys. To make matters worse I am a Scout leader and youth group leader. How can I justify letting this happen? I dont want to lose the boys and I dont want the step father to go on a killing rampage. My solution is a child abuse intervention! I am getting the whole family together, the boys parents, aunt and the grandparents. I am going to make a list of demands and let the step father know everything. The mother has been lying a lot, and I dont think it would be as bad as she thinks. It doesnt matter, the lying, the abuse, it all has to end NOW!
I am going to show the family everything I have been doing, who I am, my credentials and that I dont want to take over the boys, but if I must, then so be it. If they dont want to listen to me I will notify CPS and petition for custody. I know some may not think this is the right avenue to take, but I am at a loss here. I want to help the boys, not hurt them and I think by going to CPS that it might cause more damage.
Any advice on the intervention? Anyone else gone through something like this?
All the best with this.
I do not believe that an intervention would be helpful. The reason stepdad beat the crap out of him after CPS left was because it pissed him off that people were questioning him and his parenting (or lack thereof). If you stage an intervention, what do think will happen- realistically. Not only will it be strangers "judging" him- but friends and family. I don't know what the mother has been lying about, but if she has been lying for the step father she will continue to do so.
Thankfully the boys have you for support. I am glad that you were able to give them a cell phone to keep in touch. They need you right now and I think it is awesome the way you have stood up for them.
I have worked for public service entities for all of my professional life. Mostly emergency medical.
Your intervention may be good in theory but it might get the boys in more trouble. Abuse isn't necessarily the kind of thing that gets better with threats of taking kids away and things like that.
The only way to effect real change is to involve the police. If you call the police and tell them that you know the boys are being abused, reports will be filed...it might be a longer process but it will support your child protective services report. Also get their school involved. Believe it or not schools can be very powerful in these situations. They have the capability to take the child from school and into child protective services without parental permission and so forth. Let me qualify that by saying that the abuse does have to be somewhat substantiated ie bruises,the children telling school officials etc.
Also, a word of caution regarding fostering/adopting two boys. This may be unpopular but it must be said... A single man positioning himself (sort of) to be the guardian to two young boys, scout leader, etc. From a mother's perspective if someone suggested that this was a better scenario than being with me I'd say over my dead body. Two boys with a single man is kind of the textbook scenario for a different kind of abuse if you understand what I mean.
I'm not suggesting that this is the situation just from an onlookers perspective it could appear this way. So proceed with caution.
If those boys are being hurt involve all the public officials you can, especially the school. Do everything you can to get them help! All the best DJ! Prayers to you and your cousins!
Aaron's father ran away when he heard the p word