I have never felt like a person in the eyes of any doctor... I am a number... a file... a bunch of notes & factoids & dates all clumped together. They have their perceptions & views of me, which have always meant more to them than the words coming out of my mouth or the pleading in my eyes for them to hear me finally hear me ... but, all they see is another cow in their daily cattle drive. I have been trusting, even though I have never felt listened too or treated right. My mother was always compliant, calm & polite. I always took my que from her. But, I cannot blindly trust them anymore. It has all added up over the years & now it has grown into this "in-your-face" bitch monster determined to protect me from any further harm at the hands of those "trained professionals" called doctors & the minions who carry out their orders.
Among others I suffer from these medical related phobias that feel damn near crippling sometimes...
Tomophobia - the fear of surgical procedures
Latrophobia - the fear of doctors
Agliophobia - the fear of pain
Nosocomephobia - the fear of hospitals
Sometimes I think the schizophrenic in a family can often be the healthiest member of the family, because they are the ones who get help. I have been rejected by my siblings because of my diagnosis. It hurts me, I grew up thinking they would me three of some of my best friends for life. Not so.
I got up this morning and went through my usual steps on my laptop to log on to our DS PTSD site and had trouble right off the bat.Then overcoming that, when I got here the physical format of the website had changed, even the colors of some things. Another was knowing where to click to get back to a vertical list of the titles of DS PTSD posts. I've always used that so I could get an overview...