Pet Bereavement Support Group
The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.
After a two month struggle with leukemia, my 8 yr old Boxer Medina lost the fight, despite her courage and determination while going through chemotherapy and I had to put her into a final sleep, so she could make her transition to the spiritual world today
Its a difficult reminder to hold to those people and animals that are closest to us, to hold them just a little more closely, for a loss can occur at anytime. It was only back in June/July that we had to put my beautiful black/gray tiger cat down after an accidental spinal injury left her paralyzed from the hips down; after she tried to jump around a dog scuffle.
So this is pretty raw and its going to take time and I know I need to talk about it and let my feelings flowIm frustrated and upset at not knowing what caused this to happen in the first place. Just three months after her biannual check up/shots and complete and comprehensive blood work, metabolic panels, lipid screens, thyroid levels, you name it, tests were done to establish a baseline and screen for any potential health problems, since she turned 8 yr. Old. Her health was excellent for her age and breed and only ate the best all natural foods and supplements; no chemicals, artificial preservatives, colors, etc; much like my own diet.
In memory, Im going to plant a dogwood tree out front, between the sidewalk and curb and a small memorial garden in the back. Today begins a new normal. Spend all day soaking and washing all the numerous dog blankets and extra towels one more time from the numerous accidents of one kind or another. I took the night shift staying up late and getting up twice during the night to let my ailing dog outside; Id hear her tapping across the oak floor in the bedroom and like a newborn infant; it woke me up. I went through this routine a few years back with another Boxer, so maybe Ill start getting some deeper sleep again
Tuesday: Im numb at this pointmemories are only painful reminders of the loving puppy that never grew up and slowed down only until last year. The wrinkles in her forehead, along with her soulful dark brown eyes expressed so many emotions to you. She greeted almost everyone who walked through the door as if they were long lost friends, just so happy to see new people and kids to play with.
Going for a ride running errands was always a special time to hang her head out the partially open back window and taking in the sights and sounds, occasionally taking a detour downtown with our other two dogs, a Golden Retriever and Pit Bull/Boxer. Ill get through this; itll just take time
Its a difficult reminder to hold to those people and animals that are closest to us, to hold them just a little more closely, for a loss can occur at anytime. It was only back in June/July that we had to put my beautiful black/gray tiger cat down after an accidental spinal injury left her paralyzed from the hips down; after she tried to jump around a dog scuffle.
So this is pretty raw and its going to take time and I know I need to talk about it and let my feelings flowIm frustrated and upset at not knowing what caused this to happen in the first place. Just three months after her biannual check up/shots and complete and comprehensive blood work, metabolic panels, lipid screens, thyroid levels, you name it, tests were done to establish a baseline and screen for any potential health problems, since she turned 8 yr. Old. Her health was excellent for her age and breed and only ate the best all natural foods and supplements; no chemicals, artificial preservatives, colors, etc; much like my own diet.
In memory, Im going to plant a dogwood tree out front, between the sidewalk and curb and a small memorial garden in the back. Today begins a new normal. Spend all day soaking and washing all the numerous dog blankets and extra towels one more time from the numerous accidents of one kind or another. I took the night shift staying up late and getting up twice during the night to let my ailing dog outside; Id hear her tapping across the oak floor in the bedroom and like a newborn infant; it woke me up. I went through this routine a few years back with another Boxer, so maybe Ill start getting some deeper sleep again
Tuesday: Im numb at this pointmemories are only painful reminders of the loving puppy that never grew up and slowed down only until last year. The wrinkles in her forehead, along with her soulful dark brown eyes expressed so many emotions to you. She greeted almost everyone who walked through the door as if they were long lost friends, just so happy to see new people and kids to play with.
Going for a ride running errands was always a special time to hang her head out the partially open back window and taking in the sights and sounds, occasionally taking a detour downtown with our other two dogs, a Golden Retriever and Pit Bull/Boxer. Ill get through this; itll just take time
I haven't been on here much but I learned a few good bits of info here about journaling your feelings etc. I did that and it helped
I still miss my Jade terribly but I'm getting used to the new norm days without her. She was 13 and with us constantly. We even took her to work (business owners). Our customers and employees miss her terribly also. I almost lost her 1.5 yrs ago but glad we had that extra time because I was very sick and on chemo. She laid by my bedside until I got better and she gave me that look that said "Mama can I go now"? I loved her like a child and will forever hold her in my heart.
It will get easier for you but give yourself time. I have cried so much I don't think I have the energy to cry anymore, then it starts again. Big hug to you.
May we all too hold fond memories of those furry bundles of love that get us through the roughest days and never seem to live long enough, nor ever will
Still there lingers this hollow space, where my baby girl belongs, whether its next to me on the couch or laying by my chair or playing and running in the backyard. My other two dogs help somewhat, but right now Im not really there in spirit and they sense it. My 75+# Pit bull/Boxer decided to become a lap dog last night to help me out :- )
Thanks to all of you for your understanding words, thoughts and prayers during my time of need, in the premature loss of my dog to leukemia, just a week ago today. The first two evenings bought magnificent royal purple sunsets towards the south and I viewed it as a sign, that my pup-pup was in a serene and safe place and living like royalty, like she was treated at home with semi-daily treats of chicken/beef liver, gizzards or catfish nuggets on sale. High in protein and essential minerals and inexpensive and the dogs LOVE it, but please no doggy kisses for a while; their Herring & Sweet Potato wet food is bad enough and I like fish, but not as a fragrance!
I FINALLY got a few nights of DEEP sleep, including one 14 hr period that helped me get realigned and feel more rested during the day. I started making the transition around a week ago, to getting back in touch with the outer world, right about the time my girlfriend said that she misses me and who I was before all this happenedI didnt smile or laugh, just lost in a daze, trying to keep my mind busy doing housework or being increasingly challenged playing the Acey Duce version of Backgammon with my g/f. Its become our game and win or loose, its a lot of fun and helps keep our depression at bay.
Some people just dont put much sacredness into animals, big or small and its actually a form of therapy for many of us animal lovers. Your sensitivity only shows your humanness and that you have a heart, which makes you a stronger and better person in the end. My puppy was loved on and cuddled throughout the day, as were the other animals and even turned my daughter into a convert. My pup would let out a special cry, when she heard or saw her coming to the house that always told me it was she, often with one or two of my grandsons, which just added to the bonus. More people to play with, YEA, more primal howlingdamn I sure miss hereach animal has its own distinctive personality. I think my Pit has OCD, the way he works his blankets around before laying down and he gets this worried look when he sees them disappearing in the washer
Its been two weeks or more as Ive been piecing this together and theres too much grief to deal with all at once, so allowing myself to work through it in tiny moments. While at the pet food store today I donated a $1 to some wildlife refuge and rehab center in her name and then it was back into the 8 degree cold, blowing snow and my two dogs, anxious for the store treat samples I have in my pocket.
As a further memorial to my pup-pup, who would really light up and be ready to play with any kids she could get close to, I decided for this coming Christmas season Id focus on buying large quantities of toddler through young teen size hoodies, underwear, socks, etc to give to some gift drive for needy kids on sale through Hanes website, which recently gave me a 30% discount incentive on top of the sale prices on certain items. I focus on a specific charity each year for the holidays to give about 80% to and in the past its been a womans shelter, the ASPCA and Human Society, and the Salvation Army, all of which have touched my life in a significant way at some time in my life.
She warmed a lot of hearts and bought a smile to everyones face, as she had that sad puppy dog eyes and look, just waiting for some attention and loving. Then shed settle down, after the other dogs got their attentions worth too! The healing may take forever, as I can only form simple snapshots, baby steps for now and even thats a struggle to deal with
You were both truly Blessed to have each other~
You rescue a dog or cat from animal jail or possibly death row and they NEVER forget by being so consistently grateful for their new loving forever home, where abuse and neglect are no more. They slowly learn its okay to come over for attention and affection and their anxiety and nervousness wane over time.
My girlfriends Golden Retriever lived under verbal/physical abuse from her ex and in the past six months has really made progress being around a man and much more relaxed. My Pit Bull/Boxer mix is intimidating in size and appearance, with a strong personality, but very intelligent and trainable. Hed be a difficult one to adopt, but you just have to be firm and consistent; he hates time out in the den and being separated from the pack.
Im reminded by reading all your heart felt and warm responses, that I still have a lot of grieving to go through, it bought tears to my eyesand I got my wish of having my Medina through Thanksgiving and the Christmas holidays; I certainly didnt need another awful Christmas day/eve.
Spending those last moments with her, looking at those concerned eyes and reassuring her itll be okay soon, you wont have to feel any more pain or discomfort and then leaning over her, stroking her back and crying Im SO SORRY. thats hard to let go of, when I try focusing on the good times.
On Saturday, the other two dogs go to the vet for their over due 6-month checkup and update their vaccinations and finally ready to pick up Medinas ashes. Rescheduled todays visit due to the on going snow, (13 out of 14 days so far, another break tomorrow, than 6-10 more Thursday). Theyre 17 miles on the other end of town and way too much can happen on the roads between here and there, but its a hospital with a wide range of specialists and scanning/diagnostic equipment and at a competitive price.
Until next time, thanks to all of you for your thoughts and prayers; you are also in mine for you, yours and those youve lost.