Pet Bereavement Support Group
The loss of a pet or animal to which one has become emotionally bonded can be an intense loss, comparable with the death of a loved one. Whilst there is strong evidence that animals can feel such loss for other animals, this community focuses on human feelings, when an animal is lost, dies or otherwise is departed.
Hi there,
I just had to put my lovely, hilarious, spunky pup Walter down one month ago tomorrow. I adopted him 2.5 years ago after he was found on the street, and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
He was supposed to be 2-3 years old when I got him, but he had so many health problems over the past 2.5 years that the doctors soon guessed he was closer to 9. He had middle ear infections every few months, a displaced hip, a luxated lens in his eye, glaucoma, and more.
I went out of town for a weekend and came back home to a sick dog. He had lost control of one of his back legs while I was gone. I took him to an emergency vet as soon as I got home, and they diagnosed him with a slipped disc and put him on crate rest for 6-8 weeks.
I brought him home from the vet, and he immediately had a major, major seizure. I took him to another emergency vet where they kept him for two nights, trying to determine if he had a brain/spine disease called encephalitis, or if his seizers were caused by epilepsy or stress, and he had a spinal problem in conjunction with that. They settled on the latter and sent him home.
I kept him on crate rest for two weeks nearly until he got much worse. He started circling and started having labored breathing. I ended up taking him in at 5 am on a Saturday morning, and was told that his heart was failing or he had pneumonia, and he indeed had encephalitis. He wasn't going to survive.
I had to put him down that morning, and have never been so heartbroken in my life. I finally understood the meaning of sorrow. I've been an emotional wreck ever since. Walt was my everything, and he helped me through my recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 years, someone I thought I was going to marry. I truly feel like he waited to pass until he knew I was going to be ok.
It's one month later and while I have moved mostly out of the anger/questioning myself stage, I am still deep in depression. I don't want to do anything, and it's been difficult for me to move on with my life.
Recently though, I have been wanting to move on. I know I want another dog, and as I'm a single woman whose dog was everything to her, I know that it will be good for me to love something else take care of it. I know it will pull me out of my depression.
I went to a shelter yesterday and found a little dog that I adore. She and I have a connection, and I know I could give her a good home. I am still worried it's too soon for me. I put a hold on her and started moving forward in the adoption process, but now I'm worried I'm making the wrong decision.
Does anyone have any advice on this? I've done a lot of reading, and people say to just follow your heart. My heart says it would be good for me to get another dog, but it also says to mourn my Walter.
Does anyone have any thoughts on if it's too soon, or if they've gotten a dog too soon? I have no illusions that this dog is Walt, and I know I can never replace him, and I never want to. I want a companion and I want to take care of another dog, and give and receive love in that way. But how can I tell it's too soon? And how can I tell if I will be ok?
Any thoughts are appreciated. I am very glad this group is here--I am sure my roommates are tired of me crying and talking about this, and others don't really seem to care that he's gone (including my ex, and Walt was our dog together).
Thanks in advance for your help.
I just had to put my lovely, hilarious, spunky pup Walter down one month ago tomorrow. I adopted him 2.5 years ago after he was found on the street, and he was the best thing that ever happened to me.
He was supposed to be 2-3 years old when I got him, but he had so many health problems over the past 2.5 years that the doctors soon guessed he was closer to 9. He had middle ear infections every few months, a displaced hip, a luxated lens in his eye, glaucoma, and more.
I went out of town for a weekend and came back home to a sick dog. He had lost control of one of his back legs while I was gone. I took him to an emergency vet as soon as I got home, and they diagnosed him with a slipped disc and put him on crate rest for 6-8 weeks.
I brought him home from the vet, and he immediately had a major, major seizure. I took him to another emergency vet where they kept him for two nights, trying to determine if he had a brain/spine disease called encephalitis, or if his seizers were caused by epilepsy or stress, and he had a spinal problem in conjunction with that. They settled on the latter and sent him home.
I kept him on crate rest for two weeks nearly until he got much worse. He started circling and started having labored breathing. I ended up taking him in at 5 am on a Saturday morning, and was told that his heart was failing or he had pneumonia, and he indeed had encephalitis. He wasn't going to survive.
I had to put him down that morning, and have never been so heartbroken in my life. I finally understood the meaning of sorrow. I've been an emotional wreck ever since. Walt was my everything, and he helped me through my recent breakup with my boyfriend of 3 years, someone I thought I was going to marry. I truly feel like he waited to pass until he knew I was going to be ok.
It's one month later and while I have moved mostly out of the anger/questioning myself stage, I am still deep in depression. I don't want to do anything, and it's been difficult for me to move on with my life.
Recently though, I have been wanting to move on. I know I want another dog, and as I'm a single woman whose dog was everything to her, I know that it will be good for me to love something else take care of it. I know it will pull me out of my depression.
I went to a shelter yesterday and found a little dog that I adore. She and I have a connection, and I know I could give her a good home. I am still worried it's too soon for me. I put a hold on her and started moving forward in the adoption process, but now I'm worried I'm making the wrong decision.
Does anyone have any advice on this? I've done a lot of reading, and people say to just follow your heart. My heart says it would be good for me to get another dog, but it also says to mourn my Walter.
Does anyone have any thoughts on if it's too soon, or if they've gotten a dog too soon? I have no illusions that this dog is Walt, and I know I can never replace him, and I never want to. I want a companion and I want to take care of another dog, and give and receive love in that way. But how can I tell it's too soon? And how can I tell if I will be ok?
Any thoughts are appreciated. I am very glad this group is here--I am sure my roommates are tired of me crying and talking about this, and others don't really seem to care that he's gone (including my ex, and Walt was our dog together).
Thanks in advance for your help.
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Can you identify these rom-coms from just a screenshot from the middle of the films? This is a multiple choice quiz so even if you're not entirely sure you can always take a guess and at least have a 25% chance of getting it right anyway, so why not have a go?! https://www.buzzfeed.com/alysaurus688/rom-com-screenshot-trivia-quiz
if you find out that the dog you like is ready to be taken home go for it....you will enjoy that I am sure...
When he passed in March - he was also having seizures caused by a brain tumor - I felt as though my whole world had caved in. I had no idea how to live without him and thought that getting another dog right away would ease the extreme grief, but, in hindsight, getting a new dog only exacerbated my pain.
Like you, I met a dog at a shelter and felt an immediate connection with him. He was skinny and matted and clearly in need of love and attention so, I brought him home the next day. For the next three weeks, I showered him with love and attention, brought him to the vet, the groomer and gave him only the best of everything. But somehow, having this sweet little dog around made me miss Norman more because they were so very different. I realized that, no matter how hard I tried, my heart wasn't ready to be fully open to another dog and made the incredibly difficult decision to find a new (and better) home for the dog.
It's now been nearly two months since Norman died. I still cry everyday, but I'm slowly replacing the sadness with happy memories of my very special little boy. I still have a hard time looking at pictures of him but it *is* getting better. I know that I do want another dog but I have to be really ready for it. So, my advice to you is this: if you feel like you're 100% prepared to give a fully open heart to this new little dog, do it. But if there's even a small chance you're not ready, that's okay, too. We all grieve and heal differently - I can only share what my own personal experience has been.
I wish you the best of luck and promise that, while it's unimaginable now, you will feel better. That dark cloud will lift and you'll be ready to love again. XOXO
I did end up adopting another pup just a couple of weeks after this. I thought I wasn't ready, but I found a dog that I loved and she was the right amount of energy and the right vibe for me--a happy-go-lucky puppy that could love me and I could love, as well. I wanted to hold off, but I was spending literally all of my free time looking at dogs online. I know I was lonely, and I know I needed someone.
I am happy I have Clementine in my life, but I mourn Walt every day. I tell Clem about her older brother, and about the silly things that he did. Clem and Walt are polar opposites, which is good--I didn't want another dog like Walt. I wanted him to be perfectly preserved in my memory without getting him mussed up with another dog that was too like him.
It's been hard, and the first week especially was terrible. I was anxious every day and I truly thought I made the wrong decision by getting her. But because I have anxiety and know the signs of it, I wanted until they went down. And while Clem is still new to me and while she's not my own the way Walt was, she will be, and I'm grateful for that. I am grateful she gives me a reason to get moving, and I am grateful for her love. I am grateful that I can feel alive, and I am grateful that I can carry on Walt's memory by taking in another dog that needed a home. I know he would be happy about that (although if he was alive, he'd be insanely jealous I wasn't paying all my attention to him). I still feel his presence every day (and I even got a tattoo of a tennis ball with his initials on it), and he will always be my boy, my little man.
Thank you all again, and I hope we can all find peace and really believe in and be grateful for the love we've been shown by our beloved passed pets.