Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

2,280 Members

4,808 Posts

1 Online

pjreeses 07/24/2012

my hubby is 34 years old. we have a really strained relationship. he shows signs of having antisocial personality disorder, borderline personality disorder, and dependent personality disorder. he denies it. i've asked him several times to go see a doctor about things but he refuses. i'm not ready to give up on him, but at the same time i don't know how much more of this i can take. i've been hurt so badly. i've hurt him. i've come to a crossroads where either he gets help or i walk away. any suggestions on how i deal with the road ahead? how do i get him to see that he needs help? how do i leave knowing that treatment could save our marraige?

DivineSilence 07/24/2012

Unfortunately you really can't help someone who doesn't want help. You could issue an ultimatum and tell him that either he goes to therapy or you leave but in that case he will either say no or resent you for forcing him and therapy will not be affective for someone who isn't willing to get the help..... In order for therapy to work the person has to first admit that there is a problem then they have to be willing to put in a lot of hard work to make changes. You need to accept that he will nto change.... if you are not willing to live with things the way they are then leaving might be your better option.

pjreeses 07/25/2012

thank you. the hardest part is knowing both that he would be a better person if he went to therapy and also knowing that he won't go. he believes that his behavoir is just his personality and that he is fine with the way he is.

citychick2011 07/29/2012

#1 you are not a doctor_ you just said 3 whole disorders!!!! #2 you are not the keeper_if this person is begging to leave than you have to let them go #3 you are screwed- you may be worrying about the person and expending more energy than you would like to

citychick2011 07/29/2012

deleted_user 07/30/2012

Wow. Really citychick?

pjreeses - My thots are that you may find it beneficial to start therapy; so that when & if you make a decision to stay or leave, you will have a clearer head. And then continue. I was involved with a psychopath & am seeking help to put me back together. It hasn't been enough to just end it. God bless you.

akacountrygirl 07/30/2012

I would agree and say yes honey this may be just your personality but our marriage is in trouble. If he cares about the marriage....he will get help.
He needs to consider your feelings...it isn't all about Him.

deleted_user 07/31/2012

What if he gets help but things dont improve?
Do you think he is fearful of the truth? From prsonal experience getting a diagnosis can be a stigma but also it means you have to start taking responsibility and owning your behaviour, maybe deep down he is scared?

deleted_user 07/31/2012

http://www.dailystrength.org/groups/sobs-significant-others-of-borderlines

I think this link in Daily Strength may help you more. It is SOBs ... Significant Others in Borderline Personality Disorders. There are many people there facing what you are going through.

deleted_user 07/31/2012

There are also many people there who seem to just want to bitch.
Whenever ive looked up anywhere else for guidance on relationships its always the same "how to leave your borderline partner" and horror stories from ex partners. While not denying what they have been through the stigma about other sufferers increases

Join the Conversation