Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
Hi,
I have been seeing the same therapist for over 5 years, and as the years have progressed more things have become clear in regards to my mental states.
The current thing that we are speaking about confuses the living crap out of me. Basically I am normally in a really high good mood, or a really low crying depressed mood. But when i'm in between I can't describe it. Others can't either, not even my therapist. I'm just in the middle. Things aren't great, things aren't crappy, things are just okay. I'm kinda flat and other's misunderstand it. My mother always says, what's wrong with you, what kind of funk are you in now, because i'm not jumping off the walls. I guess being super high is what others see as me in a good mood, to between that and depressed, which i guess is my normal mood??, people don't know how to interperate how i am.
My therapist wants me to think of what emotion i'm feeling during this time. Describe it. But I can't.
Does anyone else feel like this?
I have been seeing the same therapist for over 5 years, and as the years have progressed more things have become clear in regards to my mental states.
The current thing that we are speaking about confuses the living crap out of me. Basically I am normally in a really high good mood, or a really low crying depressed mood. But when i'm in between I can't describe it. Others can't either, not even my therapist. I'm just in the middle. Things aren't great, things aren't crappy, things are just okay. I'm kinda flat and other's misunderstand it. My mother always says, what's wrong with you, what kind of funk are you in now, because i'm not jumping off the walls. I guess being super high is what others see as me in a good mood, to between that and depressed, which i guess is my normal mood??, people don't know how to interperate how i am.
My therapist wants me to think of what emotion i'm feeling during this time. Describe it. But I can't.
Does anyone else feel like this?
I've felt similar as I've recovered from my EDs. I was I now realise depressed all through my life from childhood (full of horrendous abuse and torture) through to my late 40's, early 50's.
Now, as a result of years of hard work with the therapy and attending to the EDs by looking right at the roots, I have experienced joy (not hyperactive "happiness') and peace for the first time. I have good days and I have bad days but I sit somewhere in-between and it's normal life I've realised. As a child I lived in hyper-alert state, trying to keep myself safe as much as I could, but never really being able to. The only time the bad stuff let up was when I pretended to be happy and was good enough to satisfy my narcissistic, abusive parents (esp. my mum).
Now that I have allowed myself the space to look at all the pain, abuse etc I am starting to realise I am safe now, I can relax.... I don't have to be hyper (fake) happy to keep the abusers off my back, nor do I have to pretend I'm okay when I'm in pain inside and hurting.... I can just be me, and feel and process what I need to, then keep walking into more healing and recovery.
Hope some of this helps.... Kim x
When you have had PD, etc. there is sometimes a not knowing what normal is. In fact, some people actually stir up trouble because "normal" feels "boring."
But I've come to realize TRUE happiness and peace comes from no drama, no rollercoaster. Just evenness.
We seek our past, so I'm willing to bet you grew up in chaos, right?
Now, I'm wondering why strangers can nail it in an instant, but a therapist couldn't in 5 years.
Maybe it's time to change your mental health professional?
I wish I could get rid of these highs and lows....or just have the highs and stay there.