"The BPD survival guide" is good a good updated book..

Also google Dr Heller BPD.He has a very interesting prespective on BPD.

There is a lot of misinformation about the disorder.

I posted a good article on a post titled "Dyslimbia (BPD)" here.

Thank you I will research these medias.

I feel so isolated. I don't know anyone who has BPD. I don't know anyone I could even begin to explain it to. My parents are the only people that know I have it and they use it against me all the time. Support is few and far between.

Well i don't know wahat kind of childhood you have but let me guess??? most people with BPD had either abuse and neglect or grew up in very INVALIDATING environments in which they were not allowed to express their feelings or emotions....

I would bet an expensive dinner that just by the little you're saying may be the second..

Sometimes well meaning parents just did not know how to raise a child and literally caused to have BPD...Invalidation can happen intentionally or untintentionally.......

If you have BPD most likely they caused on you.UNless you are on the very small % "they" (doctors) say is genetic.But frankly i have never met someone with BPD who was not or all of the 3 things i mentioned as a child.

It really sucks that you're parents are not understanding what it is and invalidating you further by using it against you.

That what sucks about this diagnosis.....Is very misunderstood and it has a huge stigma tha allows for the person to be re-vistimized and blamed all over again now for it.

All of the above. Lived in a very judgmental Christian family until age 10 in which nothing I did was correct unless it was perfect and I was not to be seen or heard. Then I moved in with my mom, who was extremely neglectful for two years, became a functional but abusive alcoholic for the next 4, and by 16 I was kicked out and refused to go back. Mom doesn't drink anymore, but she's a dry alcoholic; still very verbally abusive but not physically since I have grown stronger than her.

I'm sure you and I could share the most gruesome stories (as I am assuming you and I have probably shared much of the same experiences), but the details of what I have come to believe caused this absolutely debilitating disease would take months to type. When my mom was confronted with the idea that I did in fact have the disorder and that her neglect and abuse was the underlying cause she started by refusing to believe that BPD was even a real disorder, and went so far to find some bs "proof" on the internet to discredit it. Now she says I am just crazy and belong in a mental hospital. She has even suggested that if I am so unhappy I should successfully commit suicide.

I feel like I'm literally insane. And I don't know how to even explain how I feel all of the time. Even if I did, I probably wouldn't. Because I'd be scared I was being judged as insane. Which I am.

I am new to this as well. I do not consider my childhood abusive in any way though. However, I have been diagnosed with BPD. I have been searching for information on this disorder as well. I have many of the symptoms listed in what I have read.

I would start to separate myself from her.She sounds toxic...But that is me though.

Again she's invalidating you.Invalidation is crazy making.

This is a good blog and info. :)

Hi,

You are not alone and you are NOT crazy. People with BPD live outside the "norm" in society and that makes us "mentally ill." If our "system" of living and coping and our heightened emotional level was the "norm," I really do not think BPD would cause any issues.

I have, unfortunately, extensive experience with BPD, as I have it and my girlfriend has it.

BPD is so hard to understand because it manifests differently in everyone, although we share common traits (the 9 major symptoms of BPD). Everyone with BPD has some of the 9 symptoms (you have to have 5 of the 9 to be diagnosed) but all at different levels. So two people with BPD could, potentially, only share one similar characteristic of the "illness."

There is a great website at bpdcentral.com. This contains a lot of helpful info.

Also, if you do not have access to therapy, there is a great workbook called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook. You can look at it here: http://www.amazon.com/Dialectical-Behavior-Therapy-Workbook-ebook/dp/B0041D8UWM/ref=sr_1_5?ie=UTF8&qid=1370151907&sr=8-5&keywords=bpd

I highly recommend DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy). It always depends on the quality of the instruction and counseling, but DBT was designed specifically to treat BPD. It is what finally broke through for me.

DBT essentially teaches us that people with BPD are highly emotionally sensitive and often get overwhelmed in many situations. DBT attempts to raise your skill levels in key areas to allow you to get overwhelmed less often and cope better when you do get overwhelmed. DBT involves classes to teach you the skills and individual therapy to help you apply them in your life. Obviously, some of the skills are not needed by people in the class, so sometimes you have to be patient and wait until a topic is covered that is more applicable to you.

It took me 2 years of intense work to get through DBT, but it was so worth it. I put my life back together. I will always struggle, but I have a lot more skills now. I do have a DBT counselor that I see periodically to touch-up the skills or when life is overwhelming.

You are not alone because, at least, we are here. Please feel free to ask questions anytime. I do not have all the answers, and, certainly, what is right for me may not be right for you, but I will share what I know. I was diagnosed 7 years ago after having a MAJOR crash (inpatient psych units 4 times in 3 months) and have had a lot of counseling and experience dealing with this since then.

Take care. You are not alone.

Oh, I know I already wrote a ton (hopefully it is helpful), but I did want to mention that I also did not have an abusive childhood. Invalidating, yes, but in no way a bad childhood. I just was born HIGHLY emotionally sensitive and was never taught the skills to deal with it (instead I learned to feel guilt, shame, and regret).

I know how your feeling. It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed with BPD as well, and I still feel like I don't really understand it. I've done a lot of internet searching as well, but I still feel like I'm crazy. I feel ashamed for having an actual personality disorder, because i just feel like people will judge me. As much as I would like to deny it though, i know by reading about it that it pretty much defines me down to a "T" But even if I accept it, i'm not really sure what the treatment is, or even if there is one. It all seems really confusing.
I'm here if u wanna talk.

I feel ashamed as well. I feel like its really not okay to feel the way I do. Knowing other people are suffering just as much doesn't necessarily make me feel better because I know what a monster this is to battle. But I do feel a little less isolated knowing there are people to talk to. Thanks for all the support :-)

I have done research as far as the DBT but there isn't much in my area for that kind of level of therapy. CBT classes are around and I have taken some but I have a full time job and a kid that take up so much of my time I can't get into the classes. I can barely make time to see a therapist.

Just today my therapist told me that parents with BPD have a 60% chance of passing it on. I feel like I've ruined my kids life....

I got the BPD dianosis recently too. I thought I was bipolar 2 but the pdoc said my highs don't last long enough. I was never physically abused as a child but a lot of scary stuff happened. My dad was bipolar and a hard core alcoholic and my mom was a depressive and functional alcoholic. Lots of drama and stuff kids shouldn't see.

The pdoc put me on Seroquel (along with the Lithium and some sleep meds I was already taking). It seems to be helping. I had a very self-destructive winter and have trouble dealing with a lot of things. It feels like I'm finally making some progress on that.

I wouldn't beat yourself up about the kids. If you're trying hard to give them a good home it should help them. It was my understanding that it's more environmental than genetic. I have a 13 and 16 year old and they are basically doing very well.

I'm also trying to unlearn the shame thing. I may not advertise my illness to most people I know but I also know it isn't my fault that I am how I am. Hang in there. There's lots of help out there.

I think sometimes we forget about emotional abuse.It is as bad as the other types of abuse.Neglect is also abuse.not being taught any skills to deal with emotions is neglectful.Parents are supposed to do a whole lot more than just clothe and feed and discpiline.they are supposed to teach us how to deal with emotions too.Being told that you cant get angry or sad is abuse too.

I agree reply #13

Invalidation is psychological abuse...and emotional neglect is another reason people get BPD.