Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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YouAreMyForever 01/19/2013

So I need help with my sister. My mother and I think she has a serious problem and we don't know how to help her. She always lies, and its about STUPID things. Like "Oh I'm pulling in the drive way" and she won't show up for five minutes. Just little things like that. She thinks she's better than EVERYBODY. She can't take responsibility for anything. She dates HORRIBLE guys, and refuses to leave them. They've all beat her, cheated on her and called her nasty and said no one could love her, and she still begs them not to leave. She's just not right.. I sound like a grumpy sister, I know. But I'm not. Yes, I do hate her with everything in me, but it's for good reason. She has one kid, he's three. She just had a baby girl 9 days ago, but she gave her to us because she didnt want her.. While she was pregnant she would call the baby a cunt and a bitch and say she wishes she could get an abortion, she said that she never wanted her and it's all HER and her dads fault that she is alive. She even got 6 tattoos while pregnant.. She hasn't asked about the baby, hasn't even seen her ONCE since she was born.. She's planning on having a baby with her current boyfriend AS SOON as her body can. She calls me fat, and a slut (I'm 5'7 and 130lbs, and I've been with ONE guy that she doesn't even know about). But she is convinced I'm over weight and have slept with many guys. She calls me ugly and stupid, any insult you could think of, she has called me. She has beat me up, told boyfriends I cheated on them, everything to hurt me. She even tells my nephew that I dont want him and I dont love him.. When in reality he is the center of my world. She is COMPLETELY convinced my parents favor me, and that they beat her when she was little. (they worst they did was spank us, and not even hard) She just comes up with her own little reality, and she tells other people about it. And the worst part is she literally BELIEVES it. With everything in her, she thinks it's true. She has ZERO feelings. She'll do anything to avoid accepting blame. She just doesn't act human. My mom says she doesn't want to disown her own child and she thinks she has something wrong in her head, but i personally have been depressed, suicial, and have depersonalization disorder and I would NEVER act the way she has. I hate her with everything in me, she is trash to me. I've cut myself and overdosed many times, and a bunch of the times have been because of her. The first time i over dosed she said "you should have succeeded", and if i was upset she would always tell me "go cut yourself"... how can you say that to your sister? The way she has treated me has caused me to hate her. I'm rambling. I don't even know what to say or what I have said already. There's a thousand examples I could give you but that would take forever. I just don't know what to do anymore I can't live with her.

FadingIntoDarkness 01/19/2013

personally, if it were me in this situation, i would cut all ties to her. there are some people who are, simply put, poisonous to others. it seems like she is. some people blind themselves to the ways of the world. some people live in their own reality, where they are the king/queen of the world. your sister seems like someone who truly doesn't care about anybody but herself, and so as much as it might hurt or be difficult, i think you need to tell her straight up "i want nothing to do with you. you are poison to me. do not ever attempt to contact or speak to me again". tell your mother that is the choice you are making. it might spur her to make her own decision. and if you feel like your nephew is being physically or emotionally neglected, call someone about it. it'll get a report filled out and then he'll be placed with you and your mother permanently, but if you don't take action, you are (in a way) condoning what she's doing. just remember the saying:

All that evil needs to succeed is for good men to do nothing.

if you file reports, talk to people in law enforcement, etc. then at least it's down on paper and you are taking steps. and i hope you know that if you ever need to vent, you can always send me a chat message or inbox message

YouAreMyForever 01/21/2013

She isn't allowed in my life, but I'll do anything to help my nephew. Which means she has to have some small part in my life. We're going to take her to court for custody of him, but we need $4000 for the attorney.. I know people with personality disorders don't CHOOSE it, but I have talked to a guy who has one and he said he can CONTROL it. I just feel like if she has one she doesn't even try at all. My mom even asked her why she starts fights and hurts people and she said "I think it's funny.". She's my sister, I'm supposed to love her. But I never will unless she gets help

deleted_user 01/21/2013

I have a personality disorder and i cannot control it. However ive never acted in a nasty way to others. So many diffeent types and personalities with each disorder that none of us are the same

YouAreMyForever 01/22/2013

@Unhappy, you do control it though, because you don't act nasty towards others.. So part of you is controlling yourself from doing so, right ?

caneglect 03/01/2013

Hi there, I agree with fading's advice. Cut all ties ONCE the kids are safe.........some people are toxic.....period, that is all there is to it, wherever they are, wherever they go, chaos ensues. I have a daughter who as much as I hate to admit it, is TOXIC to me.........I limit conversation, and I am just there for my grandson, I would love to take custody of him but that is not in the cards right now, no physical abuse, just emotional and neglect, called cps eight times, they dont do a damn thing, met with his school, etc - Now the case worker did tell me to photograph anything I see that I am concerned about....like a room full of empty booze bottles, etc but without physical abuse (at least in my state) there is little you can do unless the bio parent willingly gives you the child.....count your blessings, possession is 9/10th of the law....Good Luck to you!

sigmund2 03/03/2013

has she been hospitalized? if you go to the police and tell them she beat you, the caretaker of her daughter, up, they will probably have to hospitalize her. then, I am guessing it will be easier to get her son.
wow, she needs the fear of god and the law to rain down on her so hard that she gets tired of fighting for the right to live free.
In some states, any mental illness at all is grounds for child services to step in, take your child, and file for termination of parenthood. if you don't know how to fight child services, you will lose. I don't know where you live, nor am i saying that child services be involved, but she is a danger to others and the police and courts should be involved in getting a restraining order once she is (hopefully) hospitalized since she is violent

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