Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

2,280 Members
4,808 Posts
0 Online
Mental Health
/ Personality Disorders Support Group

Lonliness

cutiepiesweetpea1113
cutiepiesweetpea1113
The worst feeling I have and one that has gotten me into a lot of trouble is that I am so freaking lonely! I am recently getting back in touch with friends and family, although they all live around the country, no one close by. My boyfriend broke up with me and I know it was the best thing for us, I was really volatile in that relationship and I don't think I should be in another one for a while. I know that is a symptom of BPD...loneliness and emptiness, but what should I do about it? Even on this site I realized there were no new posts in this group and I know it's not that big of a deal, but for some reason that added to this feeling. I could get attention in many places, it's pretty easy for me to not be lonely, but all of those options in my head are negative. So any advice on how to combat thee feelings? I spent a lot of time with myself, journaled what I felt was an entire book! (meaning I almost filled up all the pages of my journal in one day) researched what to do with no answers and all I can think about is that I don't have to feel this way, it's so easy to get that attention I crave but for recovery I can't. So any advice would be helpful. I'm pretty down right now
valgal18
valgal18
i'm sorry that you're feeling so lonely.....i feel that way too...i'm living alone right now and the only time when i'm not alone is when i'm at school, at work, or doing practicum for school.....i occupy my mind with other things to do than focus on my lonliness....sometimes i put on the t.v. so that it feels like there are people with me-sounds weird i know....i'm so focused on school that i can't really focus on other things......journaling i always good.....keep journaling....maybe you could join a health club or go with a friend a go for a walk or take a class at a park district or something......hope this helped....if you wanna talk, feel free to message me
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
Loneliness is a state of mind. You can feel lonely in a room full of people, or you can feel totally occupied in your own company.

It's more about VALIDATION you crave- not people.

The BIG question is, why can't you validate yourself??? Why look to others? It's all about your self esteem. You have to be able to love yourself. If you can do that, you will NEVER be alone! : )))
deleted_user
deleted_user
I feel the same way very lonely and I have isolated myself to the point it is not healthy, It seems like the more you isolate the worse it becomes until you get to the point where you dont even want to leave the house, That is where I am at, But you have to force your self to go some where do some thing, People need people and not just on social media sites and groups, Actual human contact, I am preaching I probably sound like, But it is not aimed at you, I am actualy talking to myself on this, Today for instance I am going to take a shower put my make up on and get out of my house, Even if I dont feel like it, I am going to make myself do it
deleted_user
deleted_user
I wanted to mention some thing else to you, There are these groups called Meetup.com or meet up groups, You will have to look it up on the internet or I can try to find it for you, I have been wanting to go to some of them, They are for any kind of interests you might have, Crafts, Cooking, Spirituality, Healthy Eating, Dieting, Gardening, I cant even name them all but you can meet people there and they are small groups so you dont have to feel over whelmed, You do things together, Learn new things and actualy make real friends that you actualy can have coffee with do things with, Isolation just keeps us depressed and in deep hole of dispare, Dont get me wrong I have friends that I have never met and I met them on line but it is not the same as actual human contact, I hope I have helped some what
deleted_user
deleted_user
I don't have all the answers but I can tell you that you are never alone in this world..... I am here for you my friend and so is Jesus..... Be gentle with yourself..... Jim~
cutiepiesweetpea1113
cutiepiesweetpea1113
valgal18 - Thank you for relating, I use the TV as well, it is pretty soothing to hear other sounds.

DeliAnnem- OMG! You are so right! When I read your post it really clicked! I do look for validation from other people, I have since I could remember. It's like, I don't feel good about myself unless someone gives me praise and I need others to figure out everything for me. I brought that up today in therapy. I know I eventually have to validate myself and I am trusting that I can eventually.
Wildstorms- I actually have done a couple of meetups, and started two of my own (didn't really work out) I need to look for activities I actually want to do (I only used them to get in shape in the past). I so know what you mean! Isolating more and more makes me feel near agoraphobic eventually. lol A couple of times I was too judgmental of myself to go outside and take out the trash! You have helped and thanks a lot!
DeliAnnem
DeliAnnem
Cutie- I procrastinate A LOT b/c of that inner voice. I am so scared that I will do a bad job that I do nothing!!! It's like a form of self punishment. It's like I'm a cutter... that just didn't get around to it yet!
kenjiLeach
kenjiLeach
I have a dog that likes all my neediness. It's probably won't take away all your feelings of being lonely, but it really helps me:).

Kenji