Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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Mental Health
/ Personality Disorders Support Group

Im new

Bpdsucks
Bpdsucks

I'm new to the group. I hope it will be a source of help. I suffer from BPD, PTSD, major depression and anitxity disorder.  I have been hospitalized 12 times in the past year and attemped suicide over 10 times. I recently went to the ER and the Dr thought I was looking for attention and just discharged me. He said "you have been in here 18 times in the past year for the same thing. Why don't you help yourself". I don't feel I can tell my husband everything out of fear of him worrying more.  I want to be dead. I feel that way everyday. I don't eat, don't want to leave my bed, don't trust drs, don't want to burden anyone.  I feel so freaking alone!  I hope someone can honestly say I'm not.  I hope this group will be helpful.

freespirit-1
freespirit-1
Hi your not alone you really need to talk to your husband and go to your doctors sometimes you have to keep knocking on the door eventually the drs will listen you have to be honest with the drs tell them how your feeling I'm here for you any time hun hugs
aden712
aden712
I suffer from bipolar-depression and ocd all i can say is the only thing you can do sometimes is look for any light in your life and don't hesitate to cling to it. i'm 18 years old and i'm not sure if i'll live through colledge, but in someway, somehow, there is always a way out of this kind of misery. i've been looking for years and faith in the future is what keeps me going and i hope that can keep you going. It's better than nothing at all, that's for sure.
christar
christar
Hi! I have all of the same diagnoses as you, with constant hospitalizations & suicide attempts. That has been my life. I feel I can't talk to my husband-can't trust him. I'm isolating today and feeling very much alone. I've been doing ok lately but started feeling suicidal again today. . You have helped me just by posting and I hope my post here can help you realize you are definitely NOT ALONE. I wish I could give you positive advice but I'm struggling right now. My thoughts are with you and I care! Respond if you want. I'll try to be more helpful than I am now.
christar
christar
I agree with aden712 , find some little positive thing to look forward to, an appointment date you have to make, something to keep you going. It has worked for me many times in the past and I've made it to 57.
Bpdsucks
Bpdsucks
Thanks for the replys! I'm 40 and have struggled my whole life. Last year is when I got a name for it all. I haven't been in the hospital since just before thanksgiving which I'm thankful for. Its hard to tell anyone what my thoughts are cause I'm afraid they will pull away or judge me. I have been more open with my husband and Dr's. I got a new counselor and she's been a huge help. My anitxity seems to get me more everyday, the thoughts are still there. Thoughts of ending my life is always there. I do remind myself of my good days even if it's just once a week but I do try for another. Lately I have spent my days in bed. If it weren't for my son I wouldn't get out of bed at all. He's 16 so it's getting him from school and fixing dinner. That's about the only times I would get up. My husband trys to understand but it's hard for him when I don't always understand. With your replay I don't feel so alone. I'm on new meds to which help slow down my thoughts so I don't cut as often which is good. He just increased it hopeing it helps even more. We shall see.