Well I have reached my new way of handling my problems. Get drunk and lay in bed. Seems to be working. All calm all peaceful. Done with all of the pDoc, therapists and mental health workers. I have been in treatment for 34 years, now I will just lie. They can't help me anyway. I have personally worked really hard in my treatment, paying out of my pocket, doing all the suggestions, working the programs, walking the walk just not talking the talk. I have finally found my solution. Why was I stupid enough to keep going down the same river, with the same paddle and thinking that I was going to get a different result. That is pure insanity at its finest. I am done with all types of mental health workers and doing "the wrong thing" per them. it is working so don't really care. It is my life, my way and now I feel better. I am still alone and that is just the way it will be. Can't force, motivate or pay anyone to be my friend in person. I had a group member whose friend died. Look at my bright side, I do not have any friends so I have no one to lose if they die. Hooray.
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