Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
I am not sure if my boyfriend has BPD or not so I am new to this group to try and gain some perspective.
We have been together for four years now and have a so many ups and downs. I left my ex husband for him and completely rearranged my entire life just so I could be with him because I was head over heels in love with him. But things have been less than good. He is always jealous and when he's been drinking he can sometimes go into fits of rage with wild accusations that sometimes don't even make sense. He constantly is asking me if I love him and interprets even my most non chalant actions as gestures of insensitivity or lack of caring. Whenever we go out to a public place with friends or family, he will most assuredly be sulking or upset because I didn't pay enough attention to him and "obviously didn't give a shit" whether he was there or not. He will be angry at me one moment for not snuggling with him in bed and then the next night, angry because I tried to snuggle with him and woke him up, another example in his mind, of me just not caring or loving him, because I woke him up. Last Saturday, we were at a party, and I was sitting right beside him, but chatting with an old friend (a gay man) and he flipped accusing me of never wanting to be with him and always having more fun with everyone but him. He left me stranded at the party with no way home and in the morning I had 118 text messages of horrendous name calling. It's like he completely loses control and goes into an absolute rage. This had happened uncountable times. I'm really at my wits end, because it just seems like no matter how hard I try, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I want to be happy with this man, but I feel like he had an insatiable thirst for love and affection and no matter how much I give him, he just doesn't see it. Does this sound like BPD? Or just an abusive co-dependent relationship? And if it is BPD, how do I go about telling him it may be that? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
We have been together for four years now and have a so many ups and downs. I left my ex husband for him and completely rearranged my entire life just so I could be with him because I was head over heels in love with him. But things have been less than good. He is always jealous and when he's been drinking he can sometimes go into fits of rage with wild accusations that sometimes don't even make sense. He constantly is asking me if I love him and interprets even my most non chalant actions as gestures of insensitivity or lack of caring. Whenever we go out to a public place with friends or family, he will most assuredly be sulking or upset because I didn't pay enough attention to him and "obviously didn't give a shit" whether he was there or not. He will be angry at me one moment for not snuggling with him in bed and then the next night, angry because I tried to snuggle with him and woke him up, another example in his mind, of me just not caring or loving him, because I woke him up. Last Saturday, we were at a party, and I was sitting right beside him, but chatting with an old friend (a gay man) and he flipped accusing me of never wanting to be with him and always having more fun with everyone but him. He left me stranded at the party with no way home and in the morning I had 118 text messages of horrendous name calling. It's like he completely loses control and goes into an absolute rage. This had happened uncountable times. I'm really at my wits end, because it just seems like no matter how hard I try, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I want to be happy with this man, but I feel like he had an insatiable thirst for love and affection and no matter how much I give him, he just doesn't see it. Does this sound like BPD? Or just an abusive co-dependent relationship? And if it is BPD, how do I go about telling him it may be that? Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated.
I feel like it is an impossibility for me to EVER be able to meet his requirements for affection/love/attention. He is simply incapable of ever feeling like his affection is being reciprocated by anyone.
But I have no idea if this is true of those who have BPD. That is why I wanted to get some feedback .
Sounds like Karma to me.