Personality Disorders Support Group

Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.

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RLeigh612 10/13/2016

Hello,

I am new here and I'm here searching for answers and maybe some insight into myself. I have not been diagnosed as bornerline, and I realize nobody in here can diagnose me but I was hoping to gain more insight into the disorder. I am 28 years old. When I was a teenager, my therapist saw sights of BPD but I was too young to be diagnosed. When I was seeing a psychologist about 5 years ago, she said she didn't think I was borderline at all.. that she has seen plenty of women with bpd and I wasn't anything like that ... but here I am ... still trying to figure out if there is a label that can help me understand my behavior and emotions ... or if they are just a product of my life circumstances.. is there anyone that would be willing to listen and maybe see if it sounds familiar ?

indianvisa 10/14/2016

see every person living in this planet has insecurities, i can guarantee you that you are not alone in this sinking boat. yes its just a product of your life circumstances, just post your symptoms i am sure every one will agree to it

Sahm312 10/14/2016

I looked into it a few years ago also. Recently I am looking at OCPD out of curiosity and familiarity(not same as OCD). I have general anxiety issues, ADD, pretty strong hormone shifts that make me super grumpy and irritable sometimes (PMDD), and I'm super sensitive to sugar in a wicked way. I know how even though it would feel good to be balanced and have no issues it is still somehow reassuring to have some sort of label to stick onto our collection of issues. It's like an acknowledgement of sorts that our concerns are real and valid. Only we don't need a label. We are real and valid all on our own.

One type of counseling that helps is Dialectical Behavior Therapy. It's a subset of Cognitive Behavior Therapy. It is extremely useful with or without a label.

HDonoghue1 10/16/2016

RLeigh612,

I have Borderline Personality Disorder and I can certainly relate to your desire to have a label that might help to describe what is going on. I felt like a huge weight had been lifted when I was diagnosed because I could say "Look! That describes me! It makes so much more sense now!" I would be more than willing to talk with you about what is going on if you want. I know I can't diagnose you or anything, but I do know that I can offer some insight into the disorder, how it is treated, and how to live with it on a day-to-day basis, at least from my own experience. Let me know if you are interested.

RLeigh612 10/16/2016

Thank you all.. well I guess I will start from 12 years ago when I was 16 and my therapist thought I was borderline. I was cutting, threatening suicide, acting out sexually, not going to school, and my abandonment fears were showing. Fast forward to now.. I am not suicidal nor do I cut, I don't have angry outbursts either which I know can be a borderline sign.. I do, however have behind me a whole hell of a lot of dysfunctional relationships, and my fear of abandonment is never ending.. I still use sex as a way to cope with my emotions.. and a way to attempt to get people to love me ... I don't have a real sense of who I am or what I want to do with my life .. I have a decent job but I'm not satisfied. Most recently, I fell for a coworker who also happened to be my best friend .. and who happened to be in a relationship ... He fell for me too, but the fear that he wouldn't leave her or that he would get sick of me ate at me so much that I ended up pushing him away .. something that I still haven't moved on from, and I still have to see him every day. I pushed him away instead of speaking my feelings .. which is something I have always done. My father was my best friend growing up and at 18 he decided to not be a part of my life anymore, i haven't seen him in 10 years. Every relationship I've had has been a bad one .. real awful guys .. with the exception of one which I ruined with my accusations and insecurities. This last guy (coworker) was probably the first guy I ever genuinely fell in love with ... and I can't forgive myself for pushing him away... then again, I feel like I don't know what love is sometimes. Also, I change my "type" a lot. I have used sex as an attempt to control and seduce and also calm my anxiety for as long as I've been having it. I am extremely sexual and I enjoy the attention of being desired ... but then I am always left feeling used. I will literally seduce someone and then feel like they used me. When I feel as if there's a chance I could be abandoned, I freak out.. I panic and I feel nauseous and I become passive aggressive. Sorry this post is all over the place, just trying to hit on all points.

RLeigh612 10/17/2016

Idk if that's bpd behavior or I'm just stupid

freespirit-1 10/18/2016

Hi
For one thing your not stupid I believe you have misdiagnosed I know what you mean and I know how you feel it is scary and you can't make sense of it you need to go back to doctorschool and get a refferall to a different therapist hugs

freespirit-1 10/18/2016

Oops that ment drs

RLeigh612 10/18/2016

Thank you

HDonoghue1 10/19/2016

That sounds a lot like BPD to me. I would get a second opinion if I were you about your diagnosis. And by the way, you are not stupid.

RLeigh612 10/19/2016

I am meeting with someone new next week who has experience with BPD. Thank you for what you said, but it's hard to not feel stupid when I am the cause of my pain

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