I dont see whats wrong with reaching out for help.I guess maybe its how you do it. Can you share what it is they are having a problem with?

They r having a problem with me just calling them.

Some therapist are ok with it and some are not.Your therapist should of let you know up front if its ok to call.if they didnt,its on them.I think being able to call during crisis is a good thing but i can see where maybe they wouldnt want you to call too often.

although I dont see how a ohone call is attention seeking at all unless u call threatening to hurt yourself or something.idk..seems wrong to call it attention seeking if u are reaching out to talk.

I love how people call it attention seeking when you reach out but then after a person kills themselves, everyone is scratching there heads asking, "I wonder why she didn't ever reach out to anyone?" Fucking hypocrites. And what if it IS attention seeking behavior? What is wrong with that exactly anyways? Obviously we are all fucked up because we didn't get enough "whatever" from childhood. Does it kill a person to take 5 minutes to comfort someone?

Yes, because everyone has attention seeking behaviors. It is called being human.

The borderline label and diagnosis is very harmful to people and the stigma is terrible and I don't think that it does a bit of good for mental health professionals to point fingers by using that diagnosis.

Take care with MH professionals. Find a counselor who is compassionate. Make sure that your psychiatrist is ethical. They WORK FOR YOU and are there to help you and in a way that is assertive but not aggressive, you need to make it clear--they are there FOR YOU.

Good luck LL62.

Cate

If you have an understanding that you can call or an emergency number you can call it seems like you should be able to call it as much as needed.
If you are just calling to have someone to talk to, it might be better to come on here and talk with us. That is one thing I like about DS. No matter the time of day, someone seems to always be online in one of my groups-especially BP. I found DS one day due to being very lonely one day and surfing the net. I have been very happy here.
My husband works in MH.
He gets multiple calls from several clients sometimes to where he can't work with his scheduled client because of their phone calls.
His clients call him everyday, after work, multiple times. Even on the weekends when he is trying to spend time with his family-who also all have needs. I have even heard his phone vibrate during church.
I hate his phone!
Sometimes he is the person on call for emergencies and of course phones are welcomed and he talks with people for long periods of time and we are all ok with it, but even MH people need time to do their job during the day and time with their families after hours and on the weekend.

I had it explained to me by a DBT counselor like this:

(This is my personal experience)
It was not a conscious effort to seek attention, but rather an unconscious need to validate myself or my feelings. My brain learned that, by triggering certain behaviors, emotions, or panic (this was a huge one for me), it could receive validation or soothing behaviors from others. By calling people or reaching out or being admitted to a hospital, that behavior was reinforced.

Notice I speak of my brain like its own being. That is because I did not consciously use these behaviors. Getting my brain to stop triggering like this WAS a conscious effort, but it was like training a dog. Recognizing the behavior, not validating or rewarding the behavior, and consciously seeking to change it.

I hate the phrase "attention seeking" in terms of BPD because it is not often a "look at me" or "love me" type of behavior. BPD does also include those types of behavior sometimes, but that label is used way too widely.

That said, it took a long time to be able to delineate the difference between a serious crisis and this behavior. There were some scary times. I could call a help line when I really needed it, but I tried every way to get myself through things before I did that.

I feel like I am rambling, but it makes sense in my head and worked out for me. I hope this might help you.

Wow...perhaps your therapist should be up front and honest with you.

If you're reaching out...THAT'S GOOD!!!! You should be. Your therapist should NOT be labeling your an attention seeker. You're not seeking attention, you're seeking help!!! Big difference.

Mind if I ask....how often do you call MH??? Cause that's what might be making them think that...if it's too often. But then again...it shouldn't matter how often it is. Though, to some it does. MH can be jerks though!!!