Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
With my recent diagnosis of BPD it has suddenly occurred to me that fear of abandonment is a big part of my every day life.
can anyone help me with this?
My Husband ( my 4th, his 4th too!) has been married 3 times before and has cheated on every wife. Usually with the next one but not always. His last wife he divorced after 15 years but he also had an affair with her best friend for 8 years. So with his history of cheating I live with the fear of this every day.
How can I manage my emotions about this, it eats me up.
x
can anyone help me with this?
My Husband ( my 4th, his 4th too!) has been married 3 times before and has cheated on every wife. Usually with the next one but not always. His last wife he divorced after 15 years but he also had an affair with her best friend for 8 years. So with his history of cheating I live with the fear of this every day.
How can I manage my emotions about this, it eats me up.
x
How long have you two been married?
I have never cheated. I despise it to be honest.
My first H left me when I was pregnant after 12 years, H2 ws violent, H3 suicidal and ill. I made poor choices. He says he made poor choices too but chose to cheat.
I live in fear of him cheating, I can't get past it. Everyone is allowed to make mistakes and to change their behaviour, including me and him but I can't get past his past in my own mind. Any advice how to manage this, its destroying me.
My suggestion is to get to therapy and explore this with a very good, FEMALE therapist. You don't need to tell your H why. Just say you need to work on yourself. It may take a year, but you need to discover why you did this. To me, it sounds like you had some latent wounds that were triggered when H1 left you in that condition, so it sent you in a tailspin of self destruction.
You may wind up leaving your H4, or you mind wind up staying. But you deserve some peace of mind and insight so you can begin living a life you deserve.
Hugs.
Therapy is out of my budget range in the UK at 60 an hour.
His last wife ( the ones who bestir he was shagging for 8 years!) didn't divorce him, he divorced her as she wouldn't let him remortgage the house for a business idea.
I need to get this sorted. x