Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
Travelling the minefield of psychiatrists and psychologists is pretty unsettling.
The worst part is - I feel like my life has already ended. Only my body and brain walks on doomed to many more years of torment.
I liken BPD to being in an emotional washing machine. I would do anything to have the pain and loneliness end.
I don't self harm so the diagnosis is being questioned. I'm beyond caring, stacking up mental illnesses like so many pancakes.
You can have the best care in the country but you're still alone at 3am, standing in the bathroom staring at a razor you're too gutless to snap open.
I admire the suicidal, their bravery is amazing.
I'm tethered to this world by having children and I refuse to pass my pain on via suicide - as tempting as it is at times like now.
The plus side of BPD (if I do indeed have it) is that the worst of this mood will be gone in an hour.
I cant control a damn thing including the bizarre fluctuation of mood which I would describe as
depressed >>suicidal>>depressed again.
Thanks for listening guys.
Btw Im a 50 single female.
The worst part is - I feel like my life has already ended. Only my body and brain walks on doomed to many more years of torment.
I liken BPD to being in an emotional washing machine. I would do anything to have the pain and loneliness end.
I don't self harm so the diagnosis is being questioned. I'm beyond caring, stacking up mental illnesses like so many pancakes.
You can have the best care in the country but you're still alone at 3am, standing in the bathroom staring at a razor you're too gutless to snap open.
I admire the suicidal, their bravery is amazing.
I'm tethered to this world by having children and I refuse to pass my pain on via suicide - as tempting as it is at times like now.
The plus side of BPD (if I do indeed have it) is that the worst of this mood will be gone in an hour.
I cant control a damn thing including the bizarre fluctuation of mood which I would describe as
depressed >>suicidal>>depressed again.
Thanks for listening guys.
Btw Im a 50 single female.
I was diagnosed with BPD about a month ago. My psychologist (at that time) did not feel comfortable treating me, because his schedule was just too packed for me to get treatment frequently enough to help, plus he'd never really been trained to handle BPD. We are different, and we can be challenging to treat. Mental health workers are likely to attempt to "pass the buck" to avoid dealing with any BPD sufferer. Please do not take this personally, because I guarantee it is not personal. Instead, my psychologist did the best thing he could have ever done for me - he referred me to a center that specializes in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy (DBT). This place has changed me life!!
Dialectical Behavioral Therapy teaches you how to first accept the emotions you are feeling without judgement, then uses a variety of skills to gain control over those emotions. The amazing thing is that it really works! Even better, it is an easy thing to learn. In just two weeks, I've gone from emotional chaos and meltdowns to having enough control that even the meltdowns I still have are about 10% of the intensity that they used to be.
Please, GrievingMum, do not give up on yourself. The "real you" is there, but BPD is an insidious beast that locks the "real you" away from everyone, especially yourself.
You are NOT alone.
-Daftdalla
I have only been diagnosed in January this year.
But I am 50.
They think I was in remission for about 25 years but it all fell apart when stressors overwhelmed me.
Im seeing a therapist now who doubts the diagnosis so to be honest im not overly fussed about it.
All I know is the guy im seeing now (who specializes in BPD) is awesome.
I am in a teaching college and he has students, tapes the sessions, they brainstorm when im not there. Really intensive stuff, nothing like regular therapy.
Its helping...it really seems to be helping...
He puts things on paper and he has told me they have diagnosed me as Highly Visual (which I am) and as I have memory problems associated with depression, this is really helpful. I can retain things I SEE written down.
Anyway im on a waiting list for DBT....next year....! Public health!
Im looking forward to it Della especially as you've found it so helpful.
I wish "well" people would realize how life crushing living with BPD is. Its like being in a washing machine of emotion.
Its hourly for me. I go from feeling okay, to bad, to terrible, mostly bad and terrible.
Therapy results in at least one day afterward where I can barely function.
Every part of my body hurts, I can barely walk or think.
But its worth it...! I am determined to become functional again!
I think you are taking great steps in your mental care. You sound very determined as you said. I ending you good karma and all my best wishes.
I feel for you. I am now just beginning to understand what your illness is. I am so sorry that your moods fluctuate hourly. keep posting here--everyone has been so nice and supportive.