Personality Disorders Support Group
Personality disorders form a class of mental disorders that are characterized by long-lasting rigid patterns of thought and behaviour. Personality disorders are seen by the American Psychiatric Association as an enduring pattern of inner experience and behavior that deviates markedly from the expectations of the culture of the individual who exhibits it.
Unstable and intense relationships:
People with borderline personality disorder may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not there enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will be there in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficient supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts other reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected.
I was reading up on some more BPD stuff today and I read this and was like...OMG! This is the reason I all of a sudden stopped talking to my 3 best friends and had absolutely no remorse over it, and why after that I never made new friends and I even stopped talking to aquantances. I HATE this disorder.
Is it like this for you guys???
People with borderline personality disorder may idealize potential caregivers or lovers at the first or second meeting, demand to spend a lot of time together, and share the most intimate details early in a relationship. However, they may switch quickly from idealizing other people to devaluing them, feeling that the other person does not care enough, does not give enough, is not there enough. These individuals can empathize with and nurture other people, but only with the expectation that the other person will be there in return to meet their own needs on demand. These individuals are prone to sudden and dramatic shifts in their view of others, who may alternately be seen as beneficient supports or as cruelly punitive. Such shifts other reflect disillusionment with a caregiver whose nurturing qualities had been idealized or whose rejection or abandonment is expected.
I was reading up on some more BPD stuff today and I read this and was like...OMG! This is the reason I all of a sudden stopped talking to my 3 best friends and had absolutely no remorse over it, and why after that I never made new friends and I even stopped talking to aquantances. I HATE this disorder.
Is it like this for you guys???
My pattern is that when I meet someone i totally mold myself to what I perceive they want in a friend. Their opinion is so much more relevant and valuable than mine. I allow them to say where we go and what we are going to do. It's really bad.
Then i start to get really pissed off because ONCE more, someone else is controlling me...each in their own way. Yet I have allowed it and in fact i am directly responsible for the dynamic. My next reaction is to get REALLY pissy with them. I tell them off in no uncertain terms how selfish and ego-centric they are. All of a sudden I start demanding changes in how the relationship is to work..yet I have laid the ground rules. Needless to say the other person doesn't respond well and poof!! I am alone again...getting angrier and angrier at the lonely world that I have created.
Do ya think there might be medications for this unhealthy syndrom of mine?
I see "splitting". I see outrageous anger. And I think this speaks very directly to major struggles with my own issues of lack of self-identity.
there's great need for me to come terms with that last issue.
My identity has been defined by my ex-husband, my role as mother and finally (don't laugh) i see very clearly that I am identifying myself in relation to my wonderful dog. By that I mean that I take great pride in how wonderfully well mannered she is. Wherever I go with her, people stop to comment on what a beautiful and well mannered dog she is. She seems to be my only means of meeting new people and I totally see her as a reflection of the very best part of me. Does any of what I have just said make sense to anyone else out there
I can relate this to all the relationships in my life. Even the one with my husband, which has somehow stood the test of time. I think he just put up with my sudden change in attitude a couple years into our relationship and stuck by me and therefore gave me a lot of strength to work with. Still, I do not have friends or seem to know why.
BPD is a new dx for me, so I am still getting used to the idea. This sounds exactly like me.
I can totally sympathise with this
Love/Hate relationships
I can pull and pull someone in, then just disappear, no regrets or looking back.
I HAVE NO SELF IDENTITY
I take on personality traits of anybody that I'm around, even for just a little while.
Right now my mind is blank, but this BPD thing sure has f'd up alot of things, it's hurt people and made it very difficult for everyday life...Just my 2 cents, if it made any sense at all, I don't know...Can somebody tell me...Ha Ha Ha...Def