Lynnie200, you are so gentle and wise to try to find the balance of help vs. letting him keep trying. It is a very hard call for a caregiver (my husband is mine). I fluctuate between being relieved and grateful, and p*****d that I can't do it. So am not always gracious when he intervenes for me, and I don't intend to be stinkin' about it.

If there is a caregiver group on Daily Strength, you might want to try there. Best to you both.

There are times in the mornings before I take my med's that I have trouble getting my pants on. My legs are just so stiff and bending seems impossible. On these days my wife will help me get my legs into the pant legs and pulled up while I sit on the edge of the bed.

Fortunately I my arms still work pretty good, but I'm very shaky and weak and have very little strength in my Rt hand. This gets better as the day goes on and my med's take effect.

I personally appreciate my wife helping me when needed. It can be very frustrating to me not being able to do something as simple as putting on my own pants. Luckily for me, this doesn't happen very often but when it does my wife will just ask me if I need help. I'm usually very grateful for her help.

I would just ask your husband outright if it bothers him when you try to help, or if he'd rather do it himself. This way he has the option ?

Lynni, just go ahead and help him. It is frustrating to us when we cannot do something and it takes to long. Just say gently "Let me help you dear." and your nice smile will tell him, it's OK. I do not know your husband, but no one is more independent then nurses,well I was one, Believe me, when my husband hollers, hurry up we are going to be late, I get slower and am ready to kill him. But if he comes in and starts to help me I am very grateful . If he hollers ,i do not mind waking him up and ask for something stupid. I do not get mad i get even. I know your husband would never do such a think, but i would. I hope you laugh because I am.

I know it's hard. Thanks for your help.
I just don't want him to get in a public bathroom and can't get his pants done up.......lol. so I'm am trying to let him do it as much as possible.
It frustrates him when he can't get the belt in the loops after he has put on his pants (when he is putting on clean clothes). A task he has done thousand's of times when healthy.

Anyway, you know all about it.
I didn't tell you that we went to a Parkinson's Conference this spring where they had 4 speakers and one was a woman with PD. She was very interesting. They told her that she would end up in a wheelchair which she did, but with determination, etc. she helped herself and now just uses two long walking poles which are new on the market.
Anyway, to get back to dressing oneself.
I think instead of having doctors talk about their studies and graphs which my husband couldn't really follow because one doctor talked so fast, they should have something more useful for the ones with PD. Show how people get dressed or tips on how to improve yourself, etc.
I could have listening to the person with PD for the whole time instead of these fancy doctors............
I regret filling out the comments at the end that it was a good conference. I think I should write to the Parkinson's Society who put it on and express my ideas.........
Anyway, thanks for listening...........

You can talk to me anytime I will always listen. I heard so,thing on a radio ,they sad you can have as menu awards ,as you want . But if you have good heart you are good person. Well you are that person with a good heart .I have red yours post on this site and answered some . You are always concern haw to deal with thinks to help you husband. Write the PD society and tell then what you need to hear ,
Maybe they put more regular people on and less Dr. God bless you Lynnie.

XXX Z

No problem with T-shirts. Buttons down shirts I have trouble with the top button if I'm wearing a tie and the cuffs. I've seen a gadgets that help with getting the button through the button hole. Best wishes and good luck.

I'll bet that most long time PD'er experience what your husband is experiencing. I'm sure he doesn't revel in the need for help. I have good and bad days, some times I need help and some times can manage quite well with no need for help. Winter is especially bad getting both arms in a jacket, often times out in public or at the gym and I experience no shortage of help from friends and strangers. One new acquaintance at the gym keeps his eye on me when I am about finished so he can be the first to offer assistance if required.
More people are aware of us PD'ers and understand what go through and are pleased to be of assistance. The PD'er will let you know when they want to try themselves.
By all means continue to provide support.

Lynnie200,

I read your post and was transported back a few years.to the days before I quit working full time. I used to get up at 5:00 am in order to be ready for work by 8:30 am. Dressing was so much of an ordeal that I would break out in a full body sweat and would have to dry off again. Many days I had to dress in front of a fan. I often got "trapped" in my own clothes and could not get them on or off. I remember becoming so frustrated one morning I got a pair of scissors and cut myself out of my blouse.

You are correct in that arms in first before head is the easiest way to get into a tee shirt. One trick I learned after getting out of the shower was to put powder in my robe and then put my robe on so my back was covered with powder making the tee shirt slide a little better. I also sleep in tee shirts and found that if I enlarged the neck opening by cutting it out I had an easier time getting it on.

As for pants, there is nothing more frustrating than not being able to get your pants buttoned or fastened. Velcro is a great idea! I found it most difficult to fasten my pants standing up. I had better success if I sat on the side of the bed and then laid back flat on the bed so my body was supporting the weight of my arms. Zippers were also a problem because I couldn't grasp the zipper tab. I modified a skinny wire hanger and used that to pull the little tab. When I was going out and thought I might need to use the restroom before I could get home, I would take a wire zip tie from a loaf of bread (same color as my pants) thread it through the tab and twist the ends. Thus I could get enough of a grip on the little tab to get my pants zipped.

To help or not to help...that is the question. I would say continue to do both. My husband knows I prefer to do things myself but he is also aware of when I am getting ready to blow my stack so he will quietly lend a hand when it is needed. In return I will help him with a task he doesn't like to do to let him know I appreciate his help.

Caring for a spouse with PD can be exhausting and I will keep you in my prayers. Don't forget we are out here to support you in any way we can.

Madge

I may be a little slower at dressing but I do get the job done by my self thus far. I think that a little help is always appreciated as it can get frustrating when you are not able to do the things you used to do. Giving up you independence is difficult but there are times you just have to give in and let people help. Whatever makes your life easier is best.

I fell out of bed two times. I have never fallen out of bed in my life. I was almost embarrassed to tell anyone. Anyhow I have a bar there beside the mattress. Initially I wanted nothing to do with that safety device and the physio therapist stated to use it for a day or so. I felt initially that I was giving into the illness but soon realized this device is fantastic. I use it to prop myself up in bed and it also prevents me from falling. These sort of things create a better quality of life. We have to accept the fact that we may now have some disabilities and help is not a weakness.

I usually wear a t-shirt and a pair of running shorts to sleep in. if I'm not going out I wear sweatpants or shorts a lot and either slip on or Velcro shoes. I also sleep in a real small bedroom which the door opens right by the head of my bed. I'll sleep with the door open so when I wake up I can grab the doorknob to help lift myself up. I try to find easier ways of doing things when I can.

Everyone, thanks for your kindness and comments. It makes me feel much better and you make my day every time I come here for support.
I'll just continue to help him when needed. He also has problems with zippers on his jacket. Why can't the manufacturer's make larger zipper in jackets. Have you ever noticed the poor quality of zippers especially the bottom connections where the zipper comes together.. I have done a lot of sewing in my life but I am not about to replace zippers in jacket. Wish the manufacturers or clothing designers would have a survey so that consumers could express their thoughts and give some better insight to the making of clothes. .
Oh, and that's a good idea about the zipper attachment but it doesn't help with the connection though.

Anyway, funny you should mention about the bed and falling out.
My husband hasn't fallen out of bed, but since his back doesn't have the strength anymore, he has problems rolling over. Do you also have that problem too?
What the problems boil down to, I believe is the decreasing plus fatigue. .
I don't know how that guy on Canada's Amazing Race, the one with PD had the strength to do it. He couldn't have been as bad as my husband. Just a simple task tires him, let alone racing.........???

Lynnie200,

There is a company called Under Armour that makes clothes with a Mag Zip or magnetic zipper. The two connectors of the zippers are magnetized so they automatically come together in the correct position in order to zip the zipper. They also make a tank tee shirt that has a larger head opening and no sleeves which might be easier for your husband to get on.

Hope this helps.

Madge
If the clothes are not marketed in your local area, I am sure you can find them online.

There is a company called magnaready which makes magnetic button down shirts. I am sure there are other clothing manufacturers which make clothes that are easier to get into and out of. I like clothes oversized for ease of dressing. Baby powder and a fan after a shower will help. Maybe his showers are just to hot, check how hot he is setting the temp. Good luck and good health Alex

I do the same as hisknobs, I by my t-shirts a size bigger than I actually take. Much easier on and off and that seems to be the style anyways.
Just wish I could do that with my pants lol

Vic

Yes Lynnie, I have problems rolling over and getting myself to a sitting position. I now have a railing at the side of my bed that helps keep me safely in my bed. I also use it to grab onto to assist me up. I initially did not want anything to do with it but my physio therapist urged me to try it for one night. I did and now I am so glad I tried it!