Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group
This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !
Hi, I am a mother of a 3 year old boy. I am in mentally/emotionally/fiacially abusive relationship with the father of my child.
After years of research and reading, I suspect that my child's father suffers from NPD disorder.
Recenctly I started to grow more weary of some signs that may appear like a grroming of a child.
It almost appears as if the father is initiating a process of a grooming, ut ecause iot si so subtle, I cannot put my finger on it and it is very difficult to discer between "is this ehavior truly a warning sign of grooming?" or "am I just eig too sensitive aout things?"
I have more persoal details to share but a bit uncomfortable to just sharing it here.
I am lookinng for a contact of a therapist that is specializing in the grooming behavior and warnig sigs of perpetrators, so I can share some of my concerns and some of the specific "odd" behaviors /details, and maybe that ca help me to figure out if there may be an issue, hopefully before anything would happenn if there is a potetial threat.
Some of the general signs I found on web listed as warnnig signs ad I have nnoticed being present:
- Frequent physical contact with child such as wrestling, tickling, having child sit on lap
- Planned outings alone with child
- Fakely Acts like child and allows child to behave inappropriately
- Antisocial behavior
- Narcissistic - self-centered and selfish
- low self esteem
- Alcohol, drug, and other addictions
- When with woman and child, shows more attention to child
- History of being verbally, emotionally abusive to adult
- Compulsive use of internet sex / pornography
- Prior history of low boundaries around sexual behaviors such a desiring multiple sexual partners, coercing partnner into non consesual itercourse,vulgar, lewd and lascive desires
- Need to be in control over partner
- Minimizes the impact of mentally abusive behaviors and always blames the others for his ehavior
- Is not accountable for time away from home
- Is not honest in other areas of life, but views himself as extremelly trustworthy
- shows sexual behaviors (verbally or physically) in frot of the child
- inappropriate remarks (sexual), sexualization of the child
- Argues for trust and expresses dissatisfaction with the structure of home, house rules, and accountability.
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My 5 year old came forward on March 5th That another child in his class was reaching into his pants under his underwear and touching his penis each time he was in this class. The offending child and him sat alone at the table, clearly out of sight. He was trapped because he was afraid of disrupting class and afraid of the other kids, laughing if they knew what happened. The disturbed child...
The person needs to act out or expose child to inappropriate contents.
If there is inappropriate remarks (sexual), sexualization of the child I would reach out right away. They can let you know what you should do, but they will also is a huge one that should never happen.
A mother's instinct is usually very strong- and if you feel that strongly about it I suggest speaking out to an organization such as child protective services or a women's DV organization in your county.
If there are inappropriate remarks (sexual), sexualization of the child, sexual behavior in front of the child, and drug and alcohol addictions, could be enough to at least request supervised visits at the very least. I would definitely suggest speaking to a professional first for the best possible outcome.
Trying to get proof of some kind is the best thing I can tell you to do. Advocating for your child is never wrong. Be proud that you are recognizing signs and are not trying to brush them off. I wish you the best.
But personally, I would call anonymously.
Good luck!!