I am a worrier by nature.Even as a kid I worried.I never kept my daughter from doing things because I didn't want her to fear things,but I would sit and watch the clock in panic that something could happen,anything,a car crash,getting separated from the group, did she eat,ect.My daughter was never one to do sleepovers,thank God!Then the abuse happened,from a cousin,which led me to worry even more! I thought "we'll see,my worries were real" I was a stay at home mom,I knew my daughter's friends parents.I made friends with some parents just so I knew she was safe,I didn't even really like many of them.I volunteered at school so I knew what was going on,I went on field trips.i never let my daughter wander the streets.Never stayed with a sitter,my mom babysat. Through therapy I learned that worries don't mean something won't happen,things happen beyond our control.I know the feeling of utter horror at leaving your child,I have changed plans so many times because I couldn't stand the anxiety.But this is something that you must do.I learned from therapy that the anxiety is just that,a feeling that can be changed.Your son is safe,you said that.Now you just have to keep telling your brain that.will it keep you from worrying? Hell NO! But if you keep repeating it over and over it will get easier.Also your son needs to learn to take care of himself eventually.if he knows you trust your dad he will too.Imagine how scared he is.When a child is abused those trust lines are hard to find.Many lines are blurred and they need to relearn everything again.You have to trust someone sometime and it seems your dad is a perfect first step.Hugs and good luck in court

My heart goes out to you. My kids were adults when they disclosed, and I still had a lot of fears for months afterward. It's a natural response, I can't imagine having this happen to a younger child. This may be really good for your son though, to get to spend time with his grampa, and can give him a new positive experience, and good options for the future. You can only control so much, concentrate on the court stuff and let your dad handle one part for you. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

I wonder about the fear and worry also . I even gave my job my notice . I can’t work and think about not being with my child . I’m barely going to be a week since my daughters disclosure and I can’t imagine me ever leaving her . I’m praying by time school starts I make some progress through therapy because even thinking of having to drop her off at school makes me sick to my stomach. I’m so fearful I’ve literally been sick to my stomach . Your in my thoughts and And I have all the hope in the world our fear with subside . I don’t think it will every go away but I do think it will subside .

Agreed, fear sucks. Sometimes I've thought of the "This is your brain on drugs" commercial (google it if you're too young to remember)--"This is your brain. This is your brain on fear." It can really mess with everything else and one thing I've learned in all of this is that I don't make good decisions when I'm overwhelmed with fear. Sorry I don't have any great advice on how to get the fear to subside though. If you are into the Bible, there are quite a few Psalms that discuss fear (and also that discuss what you want God to do to your enemies...) and I did find it reassuring to read the words of others that have faced fear too.

I’ve had anxiety my whole life, too. So all of this has definitely kicked it into high gear. This court date has been looming for months, and the fear has been slowly building.

I’m still worried about my little boy, worried he won’t sleep well tonight, worried he misses me. But mostly I’ve gotten to the numb stage. Which is probably better than fear.

I need to be prepping myself for my testimony. My lawyer thinks my testimony alone will take an hour and a half tomorrow. (And I have a fear of public speaking...) I don’t know what will happen in court tomorrow, and that terrifies me. My lawyer doesn’t seem worried; she thinks we have a slam-dunk case. But I’ve read enough in this group and experienced enough myself throughout this process that I don’t trust the system at all. I hope I can sleep tonight.

I’ll post an update tomorrow (if court goes well) or the day after (if it goes badly and I can’t face it tomorrow).

Thank you guys for always being here.

Praying for you today. Court is enough to make ANYONE anxious.

I go back and forth from extra emotional to numb too.

We'll be watching for your news. I'm sure your boy will do fine today and have a great time with his grandparents.

Sorry, grandfather.

Well we didn’t finish today. Got through my testimony and half of my ex’s. Between testimony taking a long time and the judge having other cases, we couldn’t finish. Case continued to Sept 27.

The anxiety nearly killed me today, but mostly the anticipation. Actually being on the stand wasn’t that bad. (My lawyer told me that she was going to object a couple of times during opposing counsel’s questioning, but I gave such a perfect answer that she had no need to.) It was harder to listen to my ex on the stand that it was to take the stand myself.

Next court date my ex will finish his testimony, CPS caseworker will testify, my son’s therapist will testify, and then my ex’s lawyer is calling ex’s fiancé and ex’s father.

I have a coupl more months befor my anxiety will go into overdrive again, but I’m pretty pissed we didn’t finish today.

I'd be pissed to not have it over with too. It's insane how slow the courts go. Glad you did so well and at least your testimony is over.