Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

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/ Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Support Group

what would you do if i was your daughter

razzy
razzy
I dont really belong in this group i am looking for advice and i hope you guys arent mad at me....

I am getting so mad at my parents. My dad abused me and my mother never protected me. and the whole family is in denial. so every one thinks i am crazy. Lately i have been getting flash backs of nasty things like my father masturbating with the door open, or seeing his boner. there is this one flashback thats been driving me crazy its when my father looked for my mother to make sure she wasnt looking(this shows me he knew what she was doing was wrong) then he took a paper towel and wiped it through his genitals and then wiped it on my face then he laughed at my reaction. you see all this time i knew i was abused but i thought it was ok and i made excuses for him because he is my dad and he really loves me. but now i know its not ok and its horrifying me...

i wish i had a supporting family and parents. i moved out over a year ago. yesterday i went out to lunch with my mom and sister and she kept pushing me to come visit her at home. i kept saying no and she kept asking why, i told her because i dont want to go.(i wasnt in the mood to explain AGAIN that it causes flashbacks and it causes me to revert)... I have told her so many times that what dad did was wrong and that she never supported me(even when cps came into the picture... she told me to lie to cps)... what do i do to get my mom to see the picture? do you guys think i am over reacting? i see my father once in a while do you think i should stop seeing him?
Bandmom5
Bandmom5
Wow, I'm so sorry for all you've been thru and are still going thru. I think I may have responded to you on a different forum, or it might have been someone else, but your post sounds familiar. Sorry if I'm repeating myself. Have you been able to get counseling? Getting yourself on a healing path is the first priority. If you don't have benefits, you can call a helpline, a women's center, a rape crisis center, or look online under your state's dept of human services resources. Having a professional to talk to about all this will help you feel a bit more in control and give you a better perspective on what to expect from your mom. If she didn't support you, she doesn't get it. It may help to have her read the stories on this forum and the sex abuse forum, but it may not. I know it's a big decision, but you may want to consider reporting this again and tell them you were coerced into lying. There may be other past and/or present victims. Reporting will give you access to free counseling thru the victims of crime compensation office in your state. My heart goes out to you, and best of luck with how you handle this. You're in my thoughts and prayers (((hugs)))
deleted_user
deleted_user
No One here would ever be mad at you! I agree with Bandmom! Go get yourself some counseling and keep distancing yourself if you need too. I wouldn't want to be around your father either.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I have to agree with Bandmom as well. Get into counselling. Consider reporting it again. Find people who support you and don't let your mother sabotage your efforts to get through this by talking you into going back. I pray that you find the support and peace you need to get through this. (((hugs))) and prayers for you.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You have been through some horrible things that no child should ever have to go through. Since you are on your own now I don't think that you should have to see your dad or your mom if they are causing you mental and emotional harm. It seems like your mom has no remorse and is still denying what happened to you. Sometimes we have to distance ourselves from people for our own good. All you should think about is what is best for you. It makes me angry to hear that your dad has not been held accountable for what he did to you. I don't beleive that he should get away with it. I agree with the others that you should go to therapy where you can discuss everything in detail. They will be able to guide you and help you heal.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Well, i always hung out with my family after my dad abused me. I never hugged him or held his hand or nothing. It totally made my skin crawl. I never did and then he finally passed of cancer. You should just tell your mom and sister if they cant support you, then you dont feel comfortable around them at your dads house. It is very hard for people who are not victims to understand. The crime itself is so sick, haynus, and demented. Like disgusting murders on the news, where some sicko has body parts in his freezer. People dont like to acknowledge these types of people do exists. Their victims are real people too. REcently that girl on the news who had been stalked and shot the guy and killed him, she was on dr. phil. and she said how she tried telling her mom and she just told her she was being paranoid. My ex husband who abused my two daughters stalks me everyday. Everywhere, and i told my mom, thats the problem with this world, no-one ever believes you. And she mentioned that show, and i have told my mom about this pyscho ex of mine, I said same thing, your either paranoid or dead when it comes to these sickos. No-one can acknowledge the truth. Find a good therapist. I have one and I feel so much better just having someone listen to me.
mommaKL
mommaKL
So so sorry to hear your story. We would never get mad. We are mostly moms and a few dads on here and all are suffering from the sexual abuse of our children. I personally do not understand parents that are outright told that they have been abused by the other and they deny it in their minds and as you said to the authorities. They are just as guilty as the perp.
The great thing is you do have a choice now, you do not have to see him or any of them if it does not help you or if it sets you back. To heal you need a good therapist and a support group. Look for a support group in your area for victims of sexual abuse. What you went thru is abuse. Your father may have done this to your sister and she doesn't want to deal with it or to other children that stayed at your house.
A good book you could read is "invisible girls". Please get some help.
Big hugs and prayers for you. You can overcome this and live an awesome life, with or without your family.