Parents Whose children have been sexually abused Community Group

This group is for parents whose children have been sexually abused. We welcome both Mothers and Fathers. Here, we can offer support to one another. We can vent, cry and lift each other up. No condemning or criticizing allowed. We are here for support. We LOVE (((HUGS))) !

908 Members

4,374 Posts

0 Online

bonnieboo11 02/21/2016

I am going to get free counseling for daughter thru an agency called NOVA.They offer many things and counseling is one of them.My daughter has been in counseling for 3 years now with someone else,not for the abuse though.My daughter suffers from many things,panic disorder,anxiety disorder,ocd, ADD.Her therapist and I have been very careful with her treatment because my daughter tends to take on others problems.The power of suggestions is a real problem for her.Example,strong smells give me a headache, perfums,gasoline and all of a sudden it affects her too,her friend gets stomache aches when she is hot and now daughter does too.I dont think she even realizes it because when I tell her she says she had it first.Anyway I don't want to undo all we have done. Her therapist now is wonderful but does not have experience in sexual abuse. Would I be crazy not to accept free counseling with a professional who specializes in this? I am not saying the sexual abuse therapist is not fit,just that she does not know my daughter's background. I also do not want to offend her therapist she has now.Opinions?Thoughts?

deleted_user 02/21/2016

Be open with her current therapist about the offer. It may benefit your daughter to see someone who has experience in counseling children with trauma in conjunction with her current therapist. What my daughter has learned from her wonderful trauma therapist is how to cope with the emotions she feels as a result of being sexually abused. She hasn't felt the need to share with her therapist the actual acts of abuse. It has been invaluable in her recovery.
What about you? Are you seeing a trauma therapist yourself? Please consider it if you are not yet seeing someone. We too suffer trauma.
My prayers to you and your family.

heartsadx3 02/22/2016

My daughter has almost a year with one counselor she liked. They had a good relationship and she enjoyed the sessions it was a certain therapy called parent child interactive therapy. I was really happy with it but once it concluded I felt she needed more specific help for the trauma....because she really likes her therapist I had hoped maybe she could do more with my daughter but she didn't have the expertise in that area. She ended up referring her to the specialist and although there was an adjustment she was very competent in her area of trauma and because of her expertise I was able to trust more in her to do,what was needed.

In the end I it was the right thing and my daughter gained more help. I don't think her current therapist would be offended. No,one person can know everything and help,everything if this isn't in,her area of expertise there should be no issue and she will understand. When it comes to our kids we put their well being first before other people's feelings.

96Percent 02/22/2016

I'm not even close to the offer of this specialized counseling for my children, however, I must say - in general most general counselors are inept at handling child sex abuse or understanding / comprehending the very deep twisted ways this affects it's victims - esp w incest. Sex abuse counseling is not simple minded or straight forward. It is a web of multiple different cause and effect actions and reactions. It really takes an experienced professional to understand the root cause of so many responses your child has. As oddly as you may think your child reacts at times, you will actually find that with deeper understanding that everything makes a lot more sense. Knowing and understanding the root cause is what helps you to address your child better to help her heal.

lovesmama 02/26/2016

My daughter changed counsellors 3 times and with each new counselor she gained something new and healed a little more...
I can say from personal experience that sometimes switching counsellors is helpful because it provides an opportunity to reexamine yourself and see things in a different perspective... I have also had to change counsellors and found the experience very valuable to my healing...
I believe it would be good to take advantage of the free counseling service and if it does not work out for you you can always go back to her old counselor your daughter will could really benefit from a trauma counselor because it sounds to me she has PTSD from her abuse and the subsiquent secrecy and shame that she endured... All her symptoms are classic for someone who has trauma...!! And I myself have experienced a great many of the same symptoms and my trauma counselor has helped me so much to lead a much more normal life.

rmbadger 02/26/2016

We used the free counseling services offered. I have mixed feelings about my daughter's services. On one hand, my daughter really like the therapist. On the other hand, she had a specific plan she had to follow and once that was done, my daughter was graduated from services. Even though she went through this specific treatment protocol, it didn't REALLY truly address my daughter's feelings. So I would say to utilize the services offered, see where it takes you and then decide if it works or if she needs something else. Since your child is a young teen, it seems like a very important time for her to address these issues because of puberty and the beginning of relationships.

Join the Conversation